Yup, the dreaded "how to be an effective leader" class (or it's random variants, effective communication, team building, how to support your staff, yada, yada, yada). If you've ever worked in a middle management role or above, chances are you've suffered through a few hours of this class...or as I like to call it, common sense.
Look, we get it, you guys are former HR folks who decided to strike it out on your own and preach what you believe to be the tenets of management. You want us to believe that you've got it all figured out, and that if we just follow your overly corny and simplified advice, step by step, in any given situation, we'll all be the most loved CEO's of all time some day. Fluorescent lights projecting rainbows with pots of gold at the ends of them all over the office, and office water bubblers tasting like kool-aid, but without the diabetic results, and bathrooms with full length privacy stalls. It'll just be wonderful. Your employees won't care at all that they're tethered to their cubes for 40-50 hours a week doing mindless work.
What you don't seem to get is that random games like trust falls, two truths and a lie, a quick ice breaking game of telephone...all that *crap*, has no place in the real world. Ok? We've all been to college, we've all played these games at orientation. It was assumed that getting that piece of paper 4 years later on a 95 degree day after baking in my robe for 3 hours meant that I'd never have to go through another kumbaya session again. That was part of the deal going in, I'm pretty sure I signed a contract, I've got it somewhere in my trunk.
Just show us your pie charts showing us what percentage of communication body language, tone, and speech make up (hint, speech is shockingly low! otherwise, why would we be having this class). Show us the slide show on how nice and happy co-workers interact with each other after their boss stopped crossing their arms when holding meetings, and don't forget to mention there are other ways to motivate employees in non-monetary fashions...because a nice pat on the back and an "atta-boy" always make up for delayed, denied, or ultimately puny raises.
