Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Breaking News: Jessica Simpson "Wants to Get Back In Shape."


Hey Jess- You want to get back in shape? You could start by delivering what is surely by now a toddler aged baby you've got squatting in your womb, that should help shed some serious L-B's right there.

But in all seriousness Jess, for the sake of the blogosphere, you've gotta have that baby, and you've gotta have that now. Not a day goes by that I don't open twitter, facebook, or browse one of my daily blogs where someone isn't making a joke about your outhouse sized stature. This is my 3rd blog about it. THIRD! (here, here) And it's  not because I want to, its that I physically and mentally cannot move on until this circus side show you've got going on is over. 

So I'm begging you, for the productivity of this blog, my twitter feed, and everyone else's sanity, either give birth or take some pepto-bismol and digest those two Christmas Hams you've been hanging on to for the last year.  The speculation is literally killing us.