Jesus Vs. Santa: Battle Rap Showdown for all the Christmas Glory.

"And in the left corner, representing consumers everywhere, wearing Red&White: JOLLY OLD Saint Nick!"

"And in the right corner, representing the gentiles and Abraham, wearing a tunich, Jesus "The Redeemer" Christ"

Lets Go to the Tale of the Tape:

Santa:

Nicknames: Santa Claus, Saint Nicholas, Chris Cringle, Jolly Old Saint Nick.

Posse: Midgets in costumes who build toys and work at the mall part time during the holidays, pack of flying reindeer led by one with a very special genetic defect, and Mrs. Claus

Claim to Fame: Ability to deliver toys to every boy and girl around the world in a single night, noted fan of cookies and milk, somehow squeezes his large ass down chimneys all night long.

Beloved By: Greedy Kids and Simon Mall Owners

Hated By: Big Dradle Manufacturers

Jesus:

Nicknames: JC, Christ The Redeemer, The Son of God, The Chosen One, Lamb of God, Our Lord and Savior.

Posse: The 12 Apostles and a couple of Mary's, Tim Tebow, and God.

Claim to Fame: Walks on water, cured the blind, turned water into wine without fermentation process, rose from the dead.

Beloved By: Practicing Christians everywhere (people 50 years old and up).

Hated By: King Herod,  Pontius Pilate.

The Edge:

Actually, Jesus. I mean, he's got God as his cut-man. Sure Santa has a flare for the dramatics, and he's definitely the more fun guy to be around out of the two, haphazardly tossing gifts out of his magical bag once you get a few milks in him every night, but, again, it's Jesus. I mean he rose from the dead, people, how are you possibly going to knock him out? He's like the original Zombie.