Moleculo - The Molecular Man - watch more funny videos
For the purpose of this blog, you really only need to watch the first minute or so to catch the catchprase...but I encourage you to watch the whole thing.
Do you just have that urge to say or yell something and once you think of it, you just CANNOT stop thinking about saying it (or in my case, belting it out in a comedic voice at the top of your lungs)? That’s me with Moleculo Man. Every few days this ridiculous character will pop into my head and I’ll just go off, yelling this at the top of my lungs, if I’m lucky, I’m at home, and then I just have to convince my girlfriend that I’m not in fact, retarded or some kind of serial killer (though screaming it into a pillow to muffle the sound would appear to the contrary). Days that I’m unlucky? I’ll just be sitting at my desk minding my own business and the urge will strike, and when that happens, look out work productivity.
I’ll spend upwards of an hour doing nothing but fighting the urge, because here’s the thing, I’ve never half-assed a molecule man, it’s always full bore, everything I’ve got…It’s probably the only thing I can really say I give 100% effort every time, and given this, I just don’t think it would be appreciated in the middle of the office, frankly.
So I sit there, and after an hour or so I really start to think about how ridiculous the whole thing is, I haven’t done a stitch of work for an hour, I’ve ignored phone calls because, I’m afraid I’ll yell MOLLLECCULLOOOOO MANNNNNNNN at one of my clients while they’re discussing something important like capitalization (plus our lines are recorded and I’d imagine the people down in the security room would have a grand old time with that tape). Then I start wondering whether my boss would appreciate me sitting here, not doing a thing, but doing it quietly, versus; My productivity being at the normal level, with one singular outburst where I yell a marginally popular Conan O’brien Catchphrase at the top of my lungs on a Wednesday afternoon at 3 pm. (It’s a lose, lose situation, eventually I think about it for so long that I forget what I’m even thinking about).
The strange habit doesn’t just apply to odd Conan O’brien inspired action hero catch phrases either, no no. It applies to whistling, random outbursts of energy, and various other phrases and songs that get stuck in my head and I just feel…compelled, to let everyone know, “HEY THIS OBNOXIOUS SOUND IS RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD! JOIN ME, WON’T YOU!” My girlfriend, parents, or really anyone that’s lived with me could probably attest that I’m good for at least one or two of these energy breaking outbursts a day.
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Take Kars for Kids. Probably the greatest song of our generation, it’s completely won me over, to the point where if you dare switch the radio in the car when that little diddy is on, I’ll snap…Or at least I’ll snap after I finish belting out the tune. Just because you changed the channel doesn’t mean you’ve escaped the song, because I’m finishing it. Same actually applies to that Flo-Rida song (editors note: It’s hard to google Flo-Rida, because you instinctively type “Florida,” and end up with a bunch of results for old people’s home and discounted vacation deals, when all you were really looking for was a 2nd rate rapper), ‘Good Feeling.’ It’s my newest obsession that I let loose on whenever I hear it. I was at a dive bar a few weeks ago (as documented by an embarrassing string of tweets that I horrifyingly read the next morning, those of you not following me, you made a wise decision that night), and I brought down the house with that jam. No, it was not a karoke bar, and no I don’t know the words to anything but the chorus. But that did not stop me from performing this song, at the top of my lungs for the 3 people I was with, along with the 5 or 6 regulars at the bar, who might not have necessarily enjoyed the performance, but they also weren’t threatning me with knives or anything, so that was good (to get a feeling for the atmosphere, the picture to the left is the menu the bar, found that while scrolling through pics last night).
It’s not an ADD or compulsive thing, that I’m sure of, it’s never taken me 20 minutes to put deodorant on, and I’ve never washed my hands to the point that they’ve pruned or anything. It’s just this ridiculous urge of pent up energy, somehow connected to catch phrases and semi-popular songs, that I haven’t figured out how to deal with yet, and as a result, you’ve just read this obnoxiously long blog.
This is getting kind of (really ridiculously) rambly, and I’ve honestly just typed the last two paragraphs because I can’t think of a way to close this ode to my little problem, so I think I’ll leave you with this….
MOOOLLLLLECCUULLLOOOOO MAAAAANNNNNNNNNN
