Modern Bonnie and Clyde? Couple Burglarize Garage, Have Sex, Woman Pepper Sprays Man and Runs Off

Hillsboro, Mo (KSDK)-- A man wearing only a rain coat was taken into police custody after a garage burglary and sexual encounter on Sunday. The Jefferson County Sheriff's Department said the man and a woman were in the process of burglarizing the garage on Glade Chapel Road, in Hillsboro, when they decided to have sex. While having sex, the woman sprayed the man with pepper spray. Investigators said the woman ran off and drove the suspect's vehicle into a pond about two miles from the burglary location.

Shit, I thought I'd been having a bad week at work, talk about having a bad day, huh.

Not only do you get arrested, but your broad leaves you with blue balls, pepper sprays your eyes, and sinks your vehicle in a pond? This has to be a joke, right? Because that is the exact scenario, to the T, for like 90% of all country music songs.

I can practically hear Kenney Chesney rehearsing this song right now, maybe just embellish it a little bit more, add in that she stole his Golden Retriever too, make it even more authentic. Make sure the vehicle was a pickup truck too, can't have any Toyota Yaris' in country music.

PS: I wonder what it was in the garage that turned them on in the first place? The scent of moth balls? Animal droppings? Or is it just their thing, their calling card, like the Wet Bandits, they're the Fornicating Thieves or something.