No joke this guy is the greatest human being alive…the greatest. Not because he’s good looking (I mean spitting image for humptydumpty, his pants are up to his underboob, its hilarious), not because he’s super smart (the average Snapple drinker is smarter than the avg millionaire contestant, you could throw me on right now, I’ll get 56 out of 60 no joke), it’s that he understands the moment. He’s not dicking around, hemming and hawing, trumping it up for the camera. He came here to win a million fuckin dollars today, and that’s exactly what he’s going to do. It’s like his wife says, they came there to take the money.
Now let’s break it down because this may be the greatest video I’ve seen in my short time in the blog game. I near pissed myself at least once every .30 seconds:
1:58: Bro just answered the question before all the hints were up, this is going to be good.
2:25:Takes time out to Eulogize Walter Cronkite...Classy move.
3:05: Meredith Viera not happy, slowly realizing she's obsolete. Why do you need a host to ask the questions if the contestant doesn't give you anytime to try and persuade their answer? Why Meredith?
3:15: "I'm a Man on Fire." I just audibly laughed out loud...I have headphones on so the g/f has no idea why I'm chuckling like an idiot. Those are the best laughs.
3:52: Clear shot of his Humptydumptyness right here. Pants firmly tucked into the under-boob. Also the hunch on his back gives him an egg shape.
4:15: Asks Meredith if she has a problem with him winning 1 million dollars today...things just got a little awkward.
4:20: He's married, this is stunning. Meredith calls his wife lovely, she's not. Strangely seems as confident as Humpty that he's going to win. "We're here to take your money." Well then.
5:45: Begins telling Meredith how to do her job. "There are other people waiting to play the game and I want to give them a chance." Brilliant, generous, respectful of others not named Meredith. He's the perfect catch.
6:22: Easily the hardest question he faces, only someone who shops at Walmart gets this: "Which of these jeans makers features a horses head in the profile of its logo?" A: Jordache...I thought Jordache went out with acid washed jeans.
6:40: First stumble! Big shock, the fat guy needs help with the Fruit Type question.
7:25: Never has anyone been so disappointed to see the show end for a day. Devestated.
