The Smoking Gun - Meet Paul Payton. The Louisiana man was arrested yesterday after a woman complained that he “exposed his genitals and began masturbating several different times.” Video of this affront--which allegedly occurred near a boat dock while Payton was seated in his Mitsubishi--was captured by the woman on her cellphone. When approached by a Monroe Police Department officer, Payton, 43, admitted to masturbating in public, according to a probable cause affidavit. But the suspect offered a curious justification: “The act,” he reported, “was intended for another female that was parked by the victim.” The affidavit does not further describe for whom the act was actually “intended,” or whether this other woman was aware (or desirous) of Payton’s gift.
Your honor, in fairness, my client wasn't even fantasizing about the plaintiff. He was whacking it to a whole other woman entirely, this is just an honest mistake. Without intent this is 2nd degree public masturbation at best.
And it's not like he was out there in the open, he was seated in the privacy of his car. Who's this nosy lady who took it upon herself to film him like the Peeping Tom that she is? Doesn't Louisiana have consent laws? Because I doubt the dude was ok with some random taping him jacking off, seems like your ordinary average guy who's not into that kind of stuff. I'd counter-suit her ass so fast.
