Fox News - A new campaign by Philadelphia officials to reduce sexually transmitted diseases allows children as young as 11 to receive free condoms via mail order, outraging some parents who believe that's too early to start getting physical. he program, offered by the city's Department of Health, features a website that includes facts on diseases like Chlamydia, gonorrhea and HIV/AIDS, as well as detailed -- and playful -- instructions for young girls on how to use female condoms. "Every girl is different," TakeControlPhilly.org reads. "Figure out what position works for you. You can stand with one foot on a chair, sit on the edge of a chair, lie down, squat, or for fun, have your partner help you out." "Playing it safe just got easier," the website reads. "If you live in Philadelphia and are between the ages of 11 and 19, you can now have condoms mailed directly to you for FREE. Maybe it's difficult for you to stop by one of our sites to pick up condoms. Or maybe you're just shy or feeling weird about picking up condoms."
Legit, when I was 11, I wouldn't have known how to mail order anything, nevermind know what a condom was for. I'd probably receive that shit in the mail and be terribly disappointed when I went to blow up the balloon and it had a slimy disgusting taste. That would have ruined my day and no amount of snack time trade ups would have made it any better.
Honestly, look at that box. Do you even think the average 11 year old can pronounce chlamydia or syphilis? Is this like an inner city kids thing? Do they know about this shit that young? When we were 11 in the 'burbs all we cared about was how many people were going to show up for the next game of Kick the Can or home run derby. The biggest hullaballo at school was kids gathering around the bus stop and discussing last night's episode of Boy Meets World and ragging on the poor kids who watched 7th Heaven, even though we secretly all did. Topanga had shit on Lucy Camden.
But even with our little elementary school crushes, I'm fairly certain if Lucy herself handed me a condom I would have laughed at her for getting ripped off for buying a trick balloon that tastes like shit. Definitely wouldn't have been asking her if her favorite position was squatting or with one foot on a chair. Would have just been two disappointed kids with no balloon animals to play with.
