 |
| Mugshot Hall of Fame, pure contempt. |
Fox News - Elyria police say 49-year-old Toni Duncan, of Elyria, was asked to show a receipt Saturday and responded by pushing a cart into the greeter, grabbing his throat and choking him. She was charged with assault. Her daughter, 21-year-old Ashley Jackson, of Elyria, was charged with aggravated menacing and inducing panic. The (Lorain) Morning Journal reports that she's accused of saying she would blow up the store and that the greeter would be dead when her boyfriend learned of the incident. Both face a court appearance Wednesday. No attorney for either was listed in court records, and no working phone number was found for either.
I'd be lying if I said I'd been warning people for years that one of these greeters was going to get choked out eventually, but I have been thinking it. It's quite literally the most dangerous job in retail. I'd take the Midnight-6AM at a gas station convenience store shift and risk armed robbery over being a greeter for Walmart or any other stores.
The problem is, back in the day it used to just be some cute old Grandparent on the verge of senility, working to pass the time, just grinning and nodding, giving kids a pat on the head, everything was fine. But now? Now companies have these people doing actual work, it's a down economy and they can't afford to pay people for their smiles anymore. Time to put Grandpa to work. So now Grandpa is forced to check your bag and your receipt upon exiting, and that shit is not cool.
I don't need Old Father Time judging me for my purchases on my way out. You just saw me leave the register two seconds ago, what could I have possibly stolen during the 3.8 seconds it took for me to put my wallet away and gather my bags? It's bad enough that I'm shopping in Walmart, I don't need you peering through whatever the hell it was that I bought that I was probably too ashamed to buy in a regular store like Target where I might risk a co-worker or friend seeing me. Like knock on wood I don't have hemroids, but if I ever did you know where I'd be buying the hemroid cream. At Walmart. At least there I'd fit right in with their every day shoppers, no one would bat an eye at someone buying hemroid cream at Walmart. But at Target? I'd get to the register and suddenly I'd bump into an Aunt, a co-worker, some kid I haven't seen since like the 4th grade that's now going to go post on Facebook how I have hemroids. Shit would be a nightmare.
People go to Walmart for three reasons: 1) They're dirty and aren't allowed in Target, 2) Day care was closed so they're just going to let their kids run around they store for the day, 3) To buy embarrassing shit away from the rest of civilized society.
PS: I'm totally considering just starting a Walmart Watch Blog. There's at least one outrageous story coming out of their per day.
