People - "Based on the totality of Charlie Sheen's statements, conduct and condition, CBS and Warner Bros. Television have decided to discontinue production of Two and a Half Men for the remainder of the season," says producer Warner Bros. Television and the network that broadcasts the program, CBS.
The statement was released after Sheen, 45, went on profane, rambling rampages against Alcoholics Anonymous, party girls, his ex-wife, founding father Thomas Jefferson and Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre.
In an open letter posted on TMZ.com Thursday evening, Sheen responded to the news that CBS halted production of his show, calling out Lorre, whom he again refers to as Haim Levine, specifically.
"I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can't handle my power and can't handle the truth," the letter reads. "I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words – imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists."
Ladies and gentelman, Charlie MotherFucking Sheen. Holy shit. If you have the time you absolutely have to listen to that ran above, it is the rant to end all rants. It puts my minor squabbling and griping to shame, it puts everyone's to shame. We're talking a biblically epic verbal tirade. It covers everything in life, porn, ex-wives, bosses, the vatican, winning, Cleveland, Wild Thing Rick Vaughn, and just about every profanity imagineable.
Anytime anyone goes off on bosses or co-workers just before getting canned it will be forever known as pulling a Sheen, that's a given.
But beyond that, have you ever heard more of an accumulation of potential Fantasy Sports team names in one place? He spouted off potential name after name for 15 straight minutes. I'm going to be analyzing that recording like its the Zapruder film trying to figure out what is the absolute best name to use. For the first time ever I'm certain to agonize over that decision more than who to draft. Drafting will be a breeze after I manage to select one of the hundreds of all-star choices for my team name...And if you don't think my baseball team is coming away with Brian Wilson, well you just plain know nothing about me.
If you're at work, and your work frowns upon listening to the ravings of a lunatic genius like mine does, here is the full transcript of the now infamous radio interview.
I'll leave you with this insprational quote:
I’m frikin bayonets, you know. I’m battle tested man. I’m tired, I’m so tired of pretending like my life isn’t perfect and bitchin and just winning every second and I’m not perfect and bitchin and just deliverying the goods at every frikin turn, because, look what I’m dealing with man, I’m dealing with fools and trolls, dealing with soft targets and its just, you know its just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee because I don’t have time for these clowns. I don’t have time for their judgement and their stupidity and you know they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and look at their loser lives and then they look at me and they say “I can’t process it” well no you never will stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show. You know?If that doesn't get you jacked up to push you through another monotonous Friday afternoon, nothing will.
