Thursday, January 20, 2011

A Word of Advice to College Seniors Before Job Hunting Season Begins

Actual Chinese Job Fair: If you think America's college grads think its tough, just imagine what it would be like in China, competing against literally a billion other people who look and sound just like you. Daunting


It's second semester for you seniors out there, and for everyone not fortunate enough to have mommy and daddy pay for a few more years of grad school it means shits about to get real. 

Sleeping in on Fridays because of that awesome schedule you made for yourself? Gone. Afternoon naps because you're exhausted from touring Call of Duty till 4 Am? See ya. Frigen plates of french fries, pizza and ice cream for lunch and dinner? Well, technically you can still do that but it aint gonna be free on that sweet meal plan.  Drunk girls partying in your dorm room because your buddies pooled together enough cash for a few 30's?  Please, welcome to the world of $10 dollar cover charges and $8 Captain n' cokes.  

Overwhelmed yet? You've still got to find a job.  Most of you will be thrilled just to get a job offer better than flipping burgers or smoking doobies out back of your liquor store stock room job.  Job market sucks. You're going to be tempted to take that first $35K + offer even if its got nothing to do with what you thought you'd be doing right out of college.  I'm telling you now, don't.  Live in your parents basement for a few more months if that's what it takes.  Eat more frozen food and ramen than you did in the dorms if that's what it takes.  Play so much xbox in a dark room between interviews that anytime you step outside and see your 65 year old neighbor walking her dog it gets you a little excited because its the first girl you've seen in days, if that's what it takes. Live the life of a vagabond until you find the job you actually wanted. If you have to, go greet old people at Wal-Mart, just don't take anything that could turn into a career that you never wanted.

Trust me, if you don't, 4 years later you're going to end up dead inside at a job you took for a quick pay check , starting a blogging Fiefdom, begging a few friends and strangers on twitter to read it and dreaming of an advertising deal(not that I'm talking from personal experience or anything).

You're thinking, no I won't, it'll only be temporary.  Bullshit. Temporary turns into a year and you get a small promotion (aka bait).  Maybe 6-12 months later you get a bonus or another raise.  You know what just happened? You just priced yourself right out of the job market.  Your dream is gone.

That temporary job now pays you more than any job you're qualified for anywhere else.  And I'm telling you first hand it is too hard to go back to lesser money to get on a different career path.  You're not going to go from that $1,500 a month apartment back to your parents basement.  You've tasted freedom, you've  been to the promised land, you've opened credit cards, gone on vacations and benders, and bought big screen tv's that would look ridiculous in your childhood bedroom, there is no going back.

Oh, and one more thing. If you always joked around telling people you wanted to be a professional lottery winner, give that shit up. Even if it does exist my application has been on file much longer than yours.