Meet Melissa Lee Williams. The West Virginia woman, 41, is facing assault and weapons charges after allegedly waving a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct at a motor inn. According to investigators, Williams--who lives four doors down from her estranged husband at the 77 Motor Inn--showed up at his door and asked Danny Williams and another man to “eat my pussy.” At this point, Williams, pictured in the mug shot at right, “commenced to undress herself,” reported Deputy Ross Mellinger. While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.” However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.” This is when Melissa Williams allegedly “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.”
Roseanne has to threaten people with knives for hook-ups? I know she's no looker but I just assumed all that fame and money would have her pulling a steady train of younger dudes just hoping to catch a break in show business, while avoiding catching anything else. Oh wait, that's not really her? Wow, really had me fooled.
Good luck at trial Melissa-Lee, and lets all just pray to God that they don't make the jurors sample just how foul her odor really was, a-la OJ trying on the bloody glove. Though it would lead to a hysterical new rhyme...drum roll please...
"Your Honor, If the Pink has a Stink, Throw Her in the Clink." Thank you, thank you very much, I'll be here all week.
