Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Lock of the Night, Me Winning Megamillions Lottery - Because of My Secret Weapon

No, these aren't my numbers for tonight, but if any of my readers play them and win I claim percentage.  Reading this is legally binding. 
 So naturally I was browsing around the internet at work today, wherever my wandering mind would take me and I started reading stories about the lottery, how lotteries works, and about previous lottery winners when I stumbled across this little nugget from 2005:

NEW YORK, May 11 -- "All the preparation you've done will finally be paying off," read the fortune in Jacquelyn W. Garrett's cookie. The prophecy caught her eye, but it was the numbers stretched across the slip of paper that paid off for her. She played them in the Powerball lottery and won second prize. She was not alone -- an additional 109 people used the same series of numbers to become second-prize Powerball winners in the March 30 drawing."We expected four or five and ended up with 110," Chuck Strutt, executive director of the Multi-State Lottery Association, said Wednesday. "That's well beyond the realm of normal possibilities." Lottery officials at first suspected a scam or maybe a computer glitch. They did not suspect fortune cookies that would lead to the payout of, well, a fortune. But there they were: winners in 26 of the 29 states with the lotteries, each bearing the same number series -- 22, 28, 32, 33, 39, 40.
WHAT?!  So 110 people all got the same fortune in the same week and played those numbers to win the lottery?  You're damned right my mind instantly shot to the Chinese fortune that's been hanging on my fridge for 2 months.  I've thought about throwing that thing out countless times, but either laziness or a holistic knowledge that the little worthless scrap of paper would play a huge role in my life kept me from doing so.  And now its pay off time (no I won't be sharing my numbers with you, but you'll all be invited to my celebratory bash).  

So thank you, hard working, enslaved, child workers of the Chinese food restaurant industry.  If it weren't for you and your tiny type writers, today wouldn't be my last day as a non-gazillionaire.