LA Weekly Blog - If recent history teaches us anything, it's that consumer passion for the Bottled Cocktail of the Moment is inevitably followed by a near-hysterical "Won't somebody think of the children?" panic. Next in line for the Helen Lovejoy treatment: Adult Chocolate Milk. Combining 40-proof vodka with "real cream" (hmmm...), the drink is sold in a "retro-chic" glass bottle with a swing top closure. Adult Chocolate Milk, which was inspired by a casual Facebook post, launched a couple months ago and is now available in 19 states. It has proved so popular, the parent company plans to branch out with Adult Orange Cream, Adult Fruit Punch and Adult Limeade in May.
Yes, Yes, and Yes. I'm demanding these be stocked at my local Kappys, marching right down there on my lunch break and causing chaos until they confirm they've ordered 20 cases. Hell, I want to be an investor.
Can you imagine the rage these are going to cause on college campuses? Remember waking up for early Saturday college games and dreading having to throw back a beer or cocktail with the fresh taste of toothpaste and cereal still swimming around in your mouth? Not a problem anymore. Who in their right mind wouldn't prefer to wake up and tailgate the football game with a couple smooth 40 proof chocolate milks.
Best part is its ageless too. No one over the age of 35 was touching 4Loko without calling their family physician prior to get the IV drip ready. But chocolate milk? No one out grows chocolate milk. I still head straight to the Yoohoo section at Tedeschi's every time I'm there, don't even think of straying off course, that's how strong the pull of chocolate milk is. Grandmas drink it, aunts and uncles drink it, college kids drink it, and hungover professionals drink it.
Liquid gold in the form of chocolate, that's what we're dealing with here people.
