Alt-Tabs

 

Woman Hides Stolen Goods Under Her Fat - (Dec. 1) -- Plenty of people keep cash in their billfolds. But police in Oklahoma say two women tried to steal $2,600 worth of valuables under their skin folds. Cops in Edmond arrested Ailene Brown, 28, and Shmeco Thomas, 37, on suspicion of shoplifting after the pair allegedly stuffed $2,600 worth of footwear, denim and accessories under rolls of fat on their stomachs and beneath their breasts.

Do you think the cops thought about just letting her go on this one? I'm sorry I'm not diggin under some obese womans FUPA and pancake tits. Thats gross. So yea, if I was a cop fatties would get away with whatever they wanted to, as long as they could hide it inside of a roll or fat crease, it would be like the wild, wild west for porkers.

White Supremacist Builds Snowman - HAYDEN, Idaho -- A white separatist drew complaints from neighbors and a visit from law enforcement officers after erecting a snowman shaped like a member of the Ku Klux Klan on his front lawn. Kootenai County sheriff's deputies told Markus Eliseuson Wednesday that he could be charged with a crime because the snowman was holding what appeared to be a noose. Deputies were called by neighbors who were appalled by the pointy-headed snowman with two dark eyes.

Look, I'm not condoning racism, the Klan, or anything like it.  But in this guys defense, its Hayden Idaho, how was he supposed to know someone would be offended by offering Frosty the Snowman temporary Klan status?  Aside from migrant workers during potato season are there really any non-white citizens in Idaho?

Aliens Among us? - Alien life has been among us all along, according to new biological findings announced by NASA Thursday.

No shit, they could have just taken a trip down to the DMV or post office to figure this one out.



Multimillion Dollar Drug Group Busted - A Dorchester drug lord dripping with diamonds employed family, lovers and neighbors during the 20 years he ran a multimillion-dollar coke and crack ring — but now faces spending the rest of his days in a no-frills cell, authorities said yesterday.Michael “Muscle Mike” Williams, 43 — a father of six described by a law-enforcement source as one of Boston’s “original gangsters” — topped a chart of 20 men and women charged by the feds yesterday with distributing massive amounts of crack manufactured in Dorchester tenements. “We’re talking about millions and millions of dollars,” U.S. Attorney Carmen M. Ortiz said of Operation Magic Wand.

I always wonder how someone can be savvy and smart enough to run a multi million dollar drug ring (and for decades in this case) yet not realize that parking luxury autmobiles right outside the triple decker slum of an apartment you live in is a dead give away.  You realize you can move to a nicer neighborhood and just keep an office on the old block right?