So all weekend long (or during commercial breaks for college and NFL football games) I watched the Ryder cup, setting a personal non-Masters golf watching record for the weekend, and why? Because the Ryder cup was fucking awesome. U-S-A chants, the States just dominating, the Euro-trash golfers just wilting away. It was beautiful.
And then Sunday afternoon happened. Shit hit the fan and the Yankees choked harder than anyone since...well I guess the 2004 New York Yankees. But where the actual Yankees were undoubtedly dejected, pissed off, and in disbelief, the US Golfers were celebrating the European win! Phil clapping for his opponents, Bubba Watson tweeting like a Euro Groupie hoping for at least a hand job in the club house, fucking pathetic all around.
And all this while perhaps the most ruthless competitor of all time looked on...I mean, I'm almost in shock that MJ didn't go out there and crack Phil in the head with his driver after that display...Did Jordan ever clap after Malone, Drexler, Isaiah, or anyone else hit a couple of clutch free throws against the Bulls? Fuck no. And he sure as shit wasn't logging on to AOL afterwards to send a quick instant message of congratulations after back-breaking losses.
He does however, have clothes like a dickhead:
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| Anyone have two extra tickets to the Milli-Vanilli concert? |
And to top it all off, perhaps the most golf rule of all time, apparently ties go to the defending champion. That's right. If the match were to end 14-14, the Euro's would win because they won the last time they played. No playoff, no sudden death golf, no competition whatsoever. Just 4 days of Patriotic chants, nailbiting golf, and then they all shake hands and go home even if its tied, content to just give away the trophy based on the play of a group of guys from 2 years ago...Makes sense to me.
So like I said at the begging, Golf, you almost had me. Almost had me believing you were a real sport with real competitors, until the last 45 minutes or so on Sunday, that is.
