Girls Just Shouldn't Be Allowed to Attend School At this Point if this Violates the Dress Code

HuffPo - Yesterday I got one of "those" phone calls that parents dread. Admittedly it was rather low on the scale of parental dread. One might reasonably say it was close to the bottom of the dreaded scale, but it was on there. My daughter had been escorted to the front office by the principal, and was cooling her heels there until a parent could come in and sort stuff out. Her life of crime had begun. I am not the best judge of "appropriate" dress for a 14-year-old girl. I try, but it is a skill I have no intention of using for very long. I tried to circumvent my need for it at all by suggesting that both my daughters wear hospital scrubs till they graduate the 12th grade, but that was apparently "not happening." I know that if I dressed myself from my younger daughter's wardrobe, it would be wildly inappropriate regardless of what I chose. Now my lack of attention had forced her into a life of crime. It is always the parent's fault...It turns out that the principal himself had personally identified her as inappropriately dressed. He had walked up to her during lunchtime and identified her crime where nobody else could. I can't help but think that the principal's action creates an unhealthy atmosphere in his school. 

Welp, that's it. We might as well not let girls go to school from ages 13-18 on at this point if this is going to be considered inappropriate. 

Far be it for me to determine what is and isn't appropriate for teenage girls, I have no frigen clue, and I'm not going to bother trying either, it's pointless. If the goal is trying to get into the head of a teenage boy to decide what he's going to find distracting, I can answer that for you right now:

EVERYTHING. 

Everything is distracting. Lady, if you dress your two girls up in scrubs, some 14 year old horndog kid is going to be day dreaming during Algebra 2 about playing doctor with them. If the girl is wearing sweat pants and uggs (the most deplorable outfit known to women), he's going to think about how she must've just rolled out of bed and got ready in the morning, then he's going to think about you in bed, and what she was wearing, and you can see where this was going. 

Point blank, from 7th grade through 12th grade there wasn't a single thing girls could wear that I wouldn't find distracting. Its just the way it works. If a girl came in wearing trash bags I would have fabricated some kind of bizarro trash-woman fantasy by second period. So if we're going to go around sending home every beige colored Nancy Drew-like outfit for being distracting we might as well send all the girls home. Use Afghanistans approach and just tell girls they're not allowed to go to school, stick to churning butter by hand and washing clothes down by the local crick.