A few thoughts over the past couple of weeks that may not have been blog worthy on their own, but compiled together give you a nice insight to the inner thoughts and workings of CW's mind:
1. GCB stands for? Good Christian Bitches...it's like ABC didn't realize they should clarify that for everyone...I spent a solid month watching commercials having no idea what it meant, had to google it myself. Finally a few days ago they started hinting at it in their promo's. Too late ABC, I already hated it by that point.
2. I still have no idea what a "Skrillex" is. I see it (him? her? cyborg?) referred to everywhere now and I have no idea what anyone is talking about. I'm officially that old person who can't keep up. It happened a lot quicker than I thought it would.
3. I don't know what Downtun Abbey is, for that matter either. I mean, I know it was a tv show on PBS or WGBH or something that was all the rage, bloggers and writers everywhere salivating telling me how good it was/is. It got to the point where Dr. Jack ( our resident TV guru) was dispatched to watch and write a blog, lest we be scorned by the blogging community, and he couldn't do it. Wrote back saying he watched a couple episodes and couldn't get into it...What gives, blogging community? What gives?
4. The River is infinitely greater than Alcatraz, it's not even close. I've gotten into both of the much hyped shows that we were bombarded with promo's for during the NFL playoffs, Alcatraz sucks (it's just the fat guy from Lost instantly recalling old facts from crimes committed long before he was born and his blonde side kick who can't act arresting said perpetrators, who happen to have time warped or something from 1963. And that's the plot line FOR EVERY EPISODE. They don't waiver at all). The River meanwhile, is riveting and feels fresh, with a couple of mildly compelling characters and a fascinating underlying storyline. "Hey Thanks CW for doing my job." You're welcome, Dr. Jack.
5. I hate everything about Lebron James and I'm pretty sure you can make a compelling case that the rise of his career is in direct relation to the downfall of the US economy, check out this homemade graph I've concocted to prove my point.
Pretty compelling evidence, no?
And Now to a few Observations from Television Watching:
A. People have way too much time on their hands in TV land. All these friends just hanging out in diners, coffee shops, bars conveniently located below their awesome apartment, wherever. Point is, how the hell do all these people have time to hang out so often that it's somehow the entire plot line for a television series? Did they find an alternate universe where jobs only require you to work 15-20 hours a week but you're still able to support yourself and the lifestyle you've become accustomed to? It gets me depressed. You know what I do with my spare time during the week? I come home, make dinner, watch tv, browse the net for a little bit, and go to bed. I'm certainly not meeting up with the gang 4 nights a week for a few casual drinks and high fives.
B. If one more character references speed dial on their cell phone, I'm going to lose it. Who are these writers in Hollywood that are still programming their mom's home number as number one in their I-Phones...PEOPLE DON'T USE SPEED DIAL ANYMORE. You scroll through contacts or recent calls and hit send. That's it. I call a rotation of like 3 people a month, the chinese restaurant I like, the pizza shop I like, and my fiancee to see if she wants Chinese or Pizza for dinner. That's it. I'm not assigning speed dials and neither is anyone else.
C. And another thing, twice in the last year I've seen a character on TV send someone to the fridge to grab batteries...Is TV land set in 1992 where people are still tossing alkaline batteries into the fridge to save the last ounces of life in them? It's 2012, we have lithium these days people, wake up.
D. I've been second hand watching the Bachelor for the past couple of a seasons (cue the "oh, that's gay, e-mails I'm going to get today). What's second hand watching you ask? I'll tell you. It's when your girlfriend/significant other/wife/fiancee watches a show you have zero interest in watching yourself but can't really argue about because you just watched 9 hours of football the previous day, so you go along with it, maybe you browse the net, read a magazine, pay bills, blog a little, but all along you know exactly whats going on in the show...Anyway. A couple of observations for Bachelor or Bachelorette hopefuls; If you go to a therapist or have gone to a therapist to work out intimacy issues, you stand a 90% chance of being selected for the show. Apparently chicks and tv producers eat that shit up. If you're prone to saying things like "I see myself with her," or, "My Journey," or, "I just really hope they'll open up to me," you just jumped into the 99th percentile of Bachelor candidates. Guys with TV aspirations take note, it's that simple.
E. That said, Tuesday morning has become my favorite internet reading morning because of this blog. I mean, if I'm going to Second Hand Watch the show I might as well find some similarly minded snarky commentary, right?
