LITTLETON, Colo. -- A 5-year-old girl is getting ready to undergo a battery of tests after she found a condom on her school playground and thought it was a balloon. The condom was found in wood chips on the playground at Acres Green Elementary School in Littleton on Thursday. "One of my daughter's friends brought it over to my daughter and gave it to her as a gift," the father told 7NEWS. "At that point, my daughter attempted to blow it up." "The school went out as soon as they found out about it and went through the playground and did find a few other items, condoms, out on the playground," said Randy Barber, spokesman for the Douglas County School District.
While I hope the little girl is fine and didn't pick up the Herp or anything (that'll be hard to explain to future suitors once she hits the dating age), I can't help but laugh at the part where school officials went out and combed the playground after the fact and realized there were more condoms, GASP!
Guys, this isn't anything new...I was in 2nd grade like, 20 years ago (holy shit does that make me feel old) and this was going on. I actually remember it clear as day, one of those random memories that sticks with you for some reason. It's like I knew that some how that goofy looking balloon like thing would some day play an important role in my life. Anyway, we were all playing Hit Spread (A form of spread where, when a player bobbles the ball on the catch, instead of trying to outrace the ball back to the wall, your opponents whip the ball as hard as they can at your back, it was by far our favorite game), and there it was...it was gross looking. My friend Jeff, who always seemed to know about these kind of things (he was allowed to watch Sweet Valley High and Saved by the Bell so he knew the most about high school stuff in our group) identified it instantly and said "Looks like someone did it last night." Me, in my 8 year old innocence had no idea what he was talking about, I chuckled and said something like "yea, right" and then we went back to playing, but I distinctly remember having no clue what he meant...Was it a dinner utensil? Why would someone be eating dinner out back of our school at night? Did what? What did they do? I honestly couldn't figure it out, didn't click for a couple more years until we started having health classes, then it was like "ohhhhh, they weren't eating back there, they were fucking!"
