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| Wouldn't be so tough if it was AIDs he was threatening you with. |
SHARON, Pa. - Police say a man tried to rob a western Pennsylvania gambling parlor by threatening to spread a staph infection. Online court records don't list an attorney for 41-year-old Fred Parker, of Coolspring Township. Police say he walked into Lucky's Internet Cafe in Sharon on Monday night and began touching the walls and gambling machines, claiming he has MRSA — a serious staph infection that resists antibiotics.
Why would you say Staph? You don't go with AIDS here? Nine times out of ten when you walk into a gambling saloon people aren't even going to know what Staph is, right? Nevermind this random strain that he was claiming to have...I consider myself much smarter than the average person but if someone came in threatening me with something called MRSA Staph, I'd have no idea what the fuck he was talking about, I'd legitimately have to ask him what kind of danger level I'm facing.
ME: "Can't I just treat it with penicllian?"
Generic Bad Guy: "No, it's a special strain."
ME: "Well surely if I run right over to the hospital, I'll end up ok, right? I mean, I'm in otherwise good health."
Generic Bad Guy: "Yea, they could probably help you out, you'd get fairly sick until they figure out how to treat it, see there are treatments, but none are 100% effective so its kind of a trial by error process."
ME: "Oh, thanks, that's pretty informative. How about this, I give you some of my money, in exchange for you not sticking me with that nuissance of an infection you've got there? I mean, it's not AIDs, I can't give you all my money."
Generic Bad Guy: "You know what? You've got a deal?"
Would that really be worth it? Having to painstakingly explain to me how deadly or not deadly the disease you may or may not have in your needle is? Probs not. Just go with AIDs, regardless of whether or not you've got access to AIDs, you're still walking out with everything I've got, it's the Golden Gun of infection diseases.
