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| Thug Life |
The Mirror - Kim Jong Il has died of heart failure at the age of 69 - after 17 eccentric years as North Korea's 'Dear Leader'.
Sad, sad day for Dos Equis, because I have no idea where they're going to come up with their hilarious material, now that the real most interesting man in the world has passed. Sure the guy in the commercials is a gringo with a beard, but that's really just for asthetics, I mean look at Kim, would you put a troll out as the face of your beer? No. But you would use various tales of his life story if you ever stumbled accross his biography like I did that time I was an intern and supposed to be working but instead was reading the ravings of a mad man for 3 hours. (For simplicity, all facts below are from The Mirror, but are originally from Kim Jong Il's official biography):
1. Birth foretold by Double Rainbow and a New Star in Space - That is some straight up Willow shit, come on Kim, you just fell asleep watching the movie one night and it entered your subconcious, it's cool, happens to all of us...on the plus side, if it is true, we now have an answer to this guys question.
2. World's greatest golfer- I'm sure everyone's heard this one by now, Kim once sunk 5 hole in ones in one day, and fished a full par 72 course with a score of THIRTY FOUR! Note to Kim, when going for lies, maybe tone it down a little bit...I'd have considered believing you with 2 hole in ones and a 58.
3. Kim once kidnapped filmmakers from Hong Kong to create a string of movies, starring Kim Jong Il, battling Godzilla or something...see for yourself:
4. In 2007 Kim outlawed cigarettes nationwide so that he'd be able to quit smoking - Kind of like when that fat-ass in Boston, Mayor Menino, banned sugary drinks on city property so that he wouldn't be tempted to cheat on his diet. You're in good company Tommy.
5. Kim was the original OG, purchasing upwards 350K in Euros a year of Hennessy.
6. Much like Bobby Valentine says he invented the wrap sandwich, Kim Jong Il once claimed he invented the hamburger...McDonalds later urged congress to declare war after such an atrocious claim.
7. A Movie Buff he was not- Owner of over 20,000 films, his favorites were known to be Rambo and Friday the 13th.
And finally, the 10 Weirdest Kim Jong Il Facts:
