Guyism - It’s the middle of the summer. There’s a whole lot of traveling going on. You’ve either recently been on a plane, are currently on a plane, or will be on a plane in the near future. So, you’re more than familiar with the “seating lottery.” You know, those horrible few minutes when you’re sitting in your assigned seat praying you end up next to a Kate Upton look-alike who smells like a vanilla bean, when in reality, you’ll end up next to one of the following people on this list.
So this story has been all over the place the past few days and the timing couldn’t be more perfect with CW going on a two week vacation starting this Friday afternoon…yea that’s right, you’ll have to adjust for a couple weeks without my daily blogs of sunshine and roses, and cynical skepticism. I’ll still keep you updated with a batch of links a day, maybe a post every now and then, but anything more than that and I’m sure the girlfriend would kill me or ground me from the internet or something…Dr. Jack would be kind to give an update or two, and I’m pretty sure gambling season is around the corner (COUGH, Maestro, COUGH)
Anyway…I’m not sure this could have been a more pointless article. It’s not that I disagree that all of these people are annoying, but I’m certain you could have just stopped at: People are Annoying to sit next to on an airplane…no need to further expunge.
I’ve straight up hated just about everyone I’ve ever sat next to on an airplane (family and friends excluded). It’s just an aggravating situation, some stranger sharing elbow and thigh room with you for anywhere from 45 minutes to half a day, breathing the same 3x3 feet space of air, doing everything possible to annoy you.
And I don’t think I’m perfect either, I’m annoying as shit to sit next to , the most figety person you’ll ever meet. Adjusting my arms, adjusting my legs, grabbing my magazine, putting it back, adjusting my crotch, attempting to sleep, adjusting my crotch, grabbing my magazine, adjusting my crotch, biting my nails, biting my nails, attempting to sleep…it’s gotta be exhausting for the people next to me to try and keep track of what I’m up to.
It’s no ones fault, people just weren’t meant to be stuffed into steel tube shoulder to shoulder for hours on end. Throw in the fact that whoever designed the airplane chair is a complete dickhead (seriously, why does the top of the chair lean forward, who the fuck wants to crane their neck forward for an entire flight? How has that not been rectified yet?) and you’ve got a recipe for disaster…the fact that multiple fistfights per flight don’t break out is a minor miracle.
