Tuesday, June 28, 2011

A Projectionists Mocking Letter to Michael Bay, Saying Everything You Ever Wanted to.



Indie Wire - We’d always assumed the humble projectionist had next-to-no contact with the people who actually made the movies, but recent weeks have shown that that’s not true at all; the recent disclosure that Terrence Malick had personally written to theaters across the country with certain specifications for The Tree of Life” has unleashed a sea of similar memos, including Stanley Kubrick on “Barry Lyndon” and David Lynch on “Mulholland Drive.” And it’s not surprising, considering that all filmmakers worth their salt would want their film to be displayed in the best possible manner. The latest to join them? Michael Bay. Hot on the heels of last week’s announcement that “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” has been specially graded, at almost twice the brightness of most films, to adjust for complaints about dimly-projected 3D films, Deadline has acquired a letter written by Bay to projectionists across the country before they unspool the film tomorrow, emphasizing the need for brightness in the projection of the film, and telling his new friends that they’re “all in this together.” 

I don't get why everyone gets on Michael Bay. Like, yea the studios could have just given any moron off the street +$150 million for a budget and unlimited access to Hollywood's finest pyrotechnics and come up with the same results, and yea just about any high school grad could cobble together a better and more coherent plot, but none of that is Michael's fault.

I think the man should be celebrated.  Here's a guy with a proven track record of next to nothing talent who's still churning out summer blockbuster after summer blockbuster.  And yea, most of his films are widely panned by critics and only supported by the dumbest and most easily entertained people in our society, but there is still something to be said for that.

I'm not going to go as far as to say he's some sort of idiot savant who's figured out how to appeal to the lowest common denominator for what the American movie goer wants to see, frankly I think he's just that horrible of a film maker, but sometimes it's better just to have dumb luck than skill.  I mean this is a guy who's fooled studio execs time and time again.  

I'd love to be in on just one of his pitch meetings, I see it going down one of two ways: 1)The execs are the same kind of simpleton idiots that love movies with lots of explosions and virtually no story line, perfect for never having to actually think. Or, 2) He goes with the abusive husband pitch. Promising to be different this time, promising to actually work on a story and plot that makes sense and doesn't disappear for large chunks of the movie. And the execs take him back just like all the other battered wives.

Either that or the studios realized its summer, you could literally film a man taking a shit for an hour and people would watch it (which I'm sure the guys of Jackass have done by now).  All the good movies are released in October anyway.