Office Etiquette- Washing Your Hands At Work

Does my office need to come to this to get guys to wash their hands?

The fact that this is the third hand washing or bathroom related post on this blog is just a sad commentary on the state of hygeine with the men at my work place, but here we are.


We're right in the prime of cold season and that means, that while always gross and disturbing, not washing your hands at this time of the year is even more appalling than usual.  Normally I just consider you a filthy, vial human being, but during flu season? You're a terrorist, you might as well be conducting experiments in Bio-Weaponry. And it's not just the non-washers who draw my attention there are a few subsets of these office vagabonds:


1. The Non-Waher- by far the most disgusting of the bunch.  Lacking self respect and respect for those around you, you've decided that shaking hands with poo and piss particles parading on your palm is an acceptable way of life.  These people should be removed from society.  And don't give me that crap about having sanitizer back at your desk.  By the time you get there you've already touched the door knob and who knows how many other surfaces.


2. The Rinser- Likes to keep up appearances but in reality is just as dirty as The Non-Washer.  That luke warm water you just ran over your hands for 3.2 seconds didn't do squat. Touched upon here, these people bother me the most.  Not only are they filthy but they're liars about it too.  I'm not sure what social defects afflict these cretins so much that they can trick themselves into thinking they're hygenical people, but I'm not sticking around to find out.

3. The Non Hand Dryer- Filthy? No. Gross all the same, Yes.  This person takes all the proper hand washing steps and carries them out to a T, yet struggles to comprehend the concept of paper towels.  I'd understand this stance if we had those useless air drying machines, or old fashion papertowel dispensers that you had to touch.  But we don't. Our office has gone out of it's way to bring us one luxury item, and that item is the magical, hands free paper towel dispenser.  There is no excuse for making your fellow co-workers have to go through the traumitizing experience of opening the door only to find the handle is wet.  I can tell you from experience their is nothing worse than walking back to your desk praying that it was wet from a non hand dryer and not a non-washer or rinser.  Shit is disgusting and will play mind games with you until you can find a sanitizer dispenser.