CW planned on taking the day off like the rest of you presumably are, but upon realizing he'd be doing a grave injustice to the man who is responsible for giving us the best Suffix-Name based holiday on the calendar (I had planned on celebrating by just watching a Tyler Perry show, but that didn't feel like enough). We may not have quite achieved the late Doctors dream, but we can take a second and recognize his accomplishments against the other top 10 Juniors in history:
10. Dale Earnhardt Jr - He may not be close to the driver that his Daddy was, but boy can he rack up endorsement deals, giving hope and a guiding example to sons less talented than their fathers everywhere. Proving that if your Daddy was the face of an entire industry you'll be sure to get some money out of it no matter how mediocre you are at your craft.
9. Freddie Prinze Jr - Star of pop culture phenomenons such as She's All That, Summer Catch, Scooby-Doo (1 and 2), and the final season of 24. Safe to say this second generation Freddie is one of this generations biggest superficial stars.
8. Mel Kiper Jr - Not really sure who his Dad was or why he had to throw Jr on the end of his name (seriously google it, all you can find is people asking who is Mel Kiper Sr.). Known for making fairly obvious NFL draft day observations, perhaps his biggest contribution to society is his helmet hair style. Single handedly keeping the chosen Hair Style of news anchors of the 70's alive.
7. Cuba Gooding Jr.- Skyrocketed to fame through his phenomenal role in Jerry Maguire, largely cashed in on his fame by taking paychecks and making flop, after flop, after flop since. Acting style relies strongly on jutting his chin out in a defiant manner.
6. Al Unser Jr. - Indy Car Racing Legend, Two time Indy 500 Champion, thumbs his nose at Dale Earnhardt Jr. Dale, this is what the son of a racing legend is supposed to look like.
5. Al Gore Jr -Vice President, failed Presidential election run, champion of the environment, hero to Green-Granola Eating Hippies, and constant comedic target for the creators of South Park. How sad is it that this guy is the most important Jr on the list so far?
4. Cal Ripken Jr - Proved that you didn't have to be athletic to play middle infield in the major leagues. Most famous for stealing deceased Lou Gehrig's "Iron Man" nickname upon passing his consecutive games played record. Established Ripken baseball as alternative to the American Institution that is Little League.
3. Ken Griffey Jr - The kid. Don't know a single kid that grew up without a Ken Griffey Jr Poster on their wall. Inspired a generation of kids to copy his stance and bat wiggle. Not that it helped us all swat homers, just made us look good at the plate. Presumably the only recent member of the 500 HR club not to eat steroids.
2. CW JR - Yours Truly. College graduate, corporate middle manager, self made thousandaire, and founder of a fledgling blogging empire. His story has just begun, look for him to move up further in the rankings at some point in the near future.
