MSNBC - When choosing a getaway vehicle, it's a good idea to make sure it goes more than 3 miles an hour. A Palm Beach man led security guards on an intense slow-speed chase in a motorized shopping cart in a grocery store parking lot after he allegedly stole some meat and ran over a child's foot during his escape.
Louis Lorensen, 58, was finally cornered by security guards and employees of the Winn-Dixie, who waited for police to show up to finally arrest the would-be thief, reports the Sun-Sentinel. "I ain't no punk, and I ain't going down without a fight," Lorensen was yelling, according to a police report of the odd incident.
He apparently wasn't in a rush to get away, either. Most motorized shopping carts can reach speeds of about 3 miles per hour, but they might not even be that fast. At that rate, Lorensen would have been better off using his feet. But that didn't stop him from allegedly loading up on 11 packages of meat and then low-tailing it out of the store. As he tried to exit, a woman and her 4-year-old son were walking in. Lorensen told the customers to move out of the way, but the little boy was caught like a deer in headlights with the oncoming slow cart bearing down on him, according to the police report. Lorensen ran over the boy's foot and made it into the parking lot before finally being corralled, the police report said. At the police station, Lorensen told an officer, "When you take these cuffs off, I'm going to punch you in the face," according to the report, as reported by the Sun-Sentinel. He now faces two counts of larceny, aggravated battery on a child, possession of stolen property and resisting arrest.
This guy might just be my hero. Facing ridicule and certain arrest he had the conviction to go through with his plan and the chance to be a legend. Sure it was about a 100 percent chance he'd get caught before he even made it to through the automated doors. But what if he didn't?
Can you imagine the legend that would grow out of the Rascal bandit? Senior citizens from Arizona to Maine would share stories in hushed tones over their early bird dinners, wishing they could muster the courage to make a getaway on their motorized carts. Louie Lorensen could have been bigger than Jesse James and Billy the Kid combined.
You have to love the moxie he showed even after it was all over too. You can be damned sure those officers never let him out of the cuffs. He would have socked them in the face and then rode off into the sunset never to be seen again.
