I'll be honest I'm a little dissapointed now that the miners are coming to the surface. Not that I'm not happy for the miserable bastards or their poor families, I just expected more. These impoverished and malnourished guys just spent 60+ days trapped underground and show no signs of extreme mutant evolution. Hell the fact that they're not even pale makes me question if this whole thing was a hoax. Where was this mine anyway? Are we sure it wasn't by the Jersey shore with an ample supply of spray tanner? Couldn't we have left them down there longer as some kind of social experiment (I smell a reality television show idea!), at least until their pigment fades or they started behaving and looking like some kind of lost Amazon Tribe. The dudes are coming up rocking Raybans and million dollar smiles, I'm pretty sure they were fine down there, at least they were having a better time than me in this cube. They'll probably end up with some sweet compensation deal to, like no taxes for life, not to mention the book deals and inevitable Oprah appearance I'm sure they all have lined up.
But here's the question I'm interested in. You've been stuck underground in a cave for two months with 32 other 3rd world dudes no Old Spice Swagger or Drakar Noir to cover up what I assume is just excruciating B.O., everyone using a corner of the room for piss and shit while you sleep 10 feet away. So when you reach the surface and finally get home, are you more excited about your wife/mistress (or both in this poor guys case) or the hot shower you can finally take?
