I’m pretty sure every office has one. You see all the tell tale signs, hand sanitizer posted at all four corners of their cube, handy wipes conveniently stashed in the upper left drawer, discarded boxes of tissues strewn about and a CVS gold member plaque hanging in the cube. You know the person I’m talking about, the person everyone in the office runs to for Advil, Tylenol, cold meds, green tea and cough drops. The office Hypochondriac.
Unfortunately for yours truly, I share a wall with our office’s walk by pharmacy. As a result I’ve been on the front line of every possible health disaster his country has faced since 2008. Bird Flu, Swine Flu, SARS, gingivitis, I’ve been through them all. None of these have caused the level of hysteria that these pesky microscopic monsters of the mattress have brought to my cubicle pod. For two weeks straight I’ve tried everything to block out the constant fear mongering campaign on any and all passerbys along with a call list that I’m sure was downloaded straight from the corporate directory. Podcasts, Internet Radio, Mp3’s, I’ve even resorted to actual work. None of it has served to dull the ever present din. The irony is the topic of bed bugs has become much more of a pest than actual bed bugs could ever be (I mean really, wash your sheets and this shouldn’t be a problem. Last I checked this isn’t a third world country, the only people that should be worried about this are the cast and crew of Hoarders). It’s enough to make me snap, and that’s the real danger.
Companies and those senders of the corporate e-mails need to be held accountable for the aggravation and elevated blood pressure these e-mails cause to the general, daily showering, non-psychotic work force brought by the professional Web-MDers amongst us.
