Friday, June 15, 2012
Romanian Criminals Play Fast and the Furious in Real Life
Autoblog - In the grainy video you'll see a group of Romanians in an SUV approach a cargo truck from behind under cover of night. Two of the men climb out of the sunroof, with one of them sliding down on the hood and the other hanging back to make sure the first doesn't fall. The man on the hood then manages to open the truck's cargo doors, get a good look inside and, apparently discovering the contents aren't worth the trouble, closes the doors and climbs back in the SUV.
Dammmmnn. Romanians do not give a fuck, huh? The balls on this guy slithering out his sunroof, on the highway, in the dark, friend holding his life in the balance by his ankles, and then he decides, "meh, nothing worth stealing here." Shit is gangsta as it gets. Serious Fast and the Furious stuff.
My only real question is, what would they have done had they decided there was something worth stealing in there? You attempt throwing it back to your buddy standing out the sunroof? No way that shit works. You can't play a game of hot potato between vehicles with an HDTV while rolling down the highway without horrible results. Is there a hatch in the truck that leads to the driver so he can stick him up? I'd actually really like to go on a ride along with these hombres just to see what they were thinking here.
Boston Parks and Rec Copying TV Parks and Rec With Smallest Park in America
Boston - The two parking spaces closest to the South End’s Wholy Grain cafe are just like thousands of others in Boston: patches of public asphalt hard against the curb, designated for vehicles. By this time next year, they could be a park...City planners are refining a pilot program to turn parking spaces here and in three other neighborhoods into “parklets’’ - petite, three-season patios, with benches and planters atop platforms built flush with the sidewalk. The city will pay to design and install the first parklets, estimated to cost $12,000 each, while asking businesses, nonprofits, and civic associations to sponsor maintenance of plantings and furniture.
While I actually love the idea, can we not pretend this is some official initiative from some Big Government Parks Think Tank...they stole this straight from Leslie Knope...Except Leslie Knope was going to do it on basically no budget from what I remember...12K? Really? We couldn't find anyone to donate time, top soil, grass, and a bench? How about you pay me $6K, I provide the materials and have this done in a weekend? Deal?
Thursday, June 14, 2012
My Only Real Goal in Life
A candid inside look at Barstool Sports headquarters...and my ultimate goal in life.
I have to be one of the few people on earth that can look a desk littered with junk and a grown man eating a loaf of bread while surfing the internet who thinks "I want that," who actually make a moderate attempt at it, but just can't make it happen.
This picture literally ruined my afternoon yesterday because I realized the chances of me ever being that old man, eating a baguette in a sea of filth, coffee, and the far reaches of the internet, is the slimmest of slim.
Just destined to a life of fluorescent lights and overhearing annoying co-worker chatter from my depressing cube.
And my day is shot once again.
Isiah Thomas Comments On the Dream Team Documentary
Isiah's middle name would be "Lord." That explains so, so much about him. And I was going to go ahead and react to this in my usual, thee paragraph style, but after browsing the comments below this post I found the perfect four words (also there are some gems if you feel like wasting time):
Sugar coated as fuck indeed.
MBTA Concerned Ridership May Overwhelm the System...WHAT?!?
Boston - By the end of the decade, Boston’s subways could grow so packed that trains would roll past waiting commuters, unable to accommodate more riders, a new report from a leading land-use think tank warns...But authors of the study from the Boston branch of the institute, a national nonprofit, issue this warning: Riders who think it is crowded now should be prepared for 20 percent more company by the end of the decade...But without investment in more subway cars, better power and signal systems, and other tools to relieve MBTA crowding, scattered congestion will become widespread, with riders at “hot spots’’ unable to board because cars are too full, and with backups and bottlenecks causing delays systemwide, according to the “Hub and Spoke’’ report.
If this doesn't define how poorly run the MBTA is, I don't know what does. On one hand you've got the T crying poor, asking for bailouts, and ridiculously, cutting service. And then almost simultaneously you've got them complaining about TOO MANY CUSTOMERS!
This is fake life shit. Too many customers should never be a problem. Never. Yes it can cause growing pains, but this isn't some start up learning how to expand, this is an established public transportation business. You want more customers. It's how you make money. It's how you dig yourself out of debt.
It's the MBTA in a nutshell. Imagine some kid, right out of college, working some 20 hour a week retail job making barely more than minimum wage, complaining about not being able to pay his bills, all the while just ignoring a job offer from a real office, 40 hours a week and competitive pay. That's what's happening here. It's just batshit crazy.
These people on the T "thinktank" (overpaid bureaucrats) might as well just come out and admit that they are in no way qualified to come up with a fiscally responsible way to handle the increased ridership and are afraid that whatever decision they make will be the wrong decision...which is true. Which is why everyone would be better off if the T system was sold off and privatized. Because I'll tell you this much, no private company has ever complained about too much business. That's just unheard of.
Who Ya Got? More Improbably Alive: Magic Johnson or Alonzo Mourning?
Who Ya Got? Seeing Zo the other night in his misery surrounded by a sea of blue honky's made me remember something, Zo is still alive.
Which shocked me, because at various times I could have sworn he was going to die within 12 months due to some rare kidney disease, I think he retired a couple of times, came back, retired, said he was really sick (that's not me doubting him, fyi), got a kidney transplant, came back for a few years, and now he's fine? Just traveling around with the Heat like a grown man mascot?
On the other hand you have Magic who, through laughs, smiles, and a shit ton of money, might as well be patient zero as far as beating HIV/AIDS goes.
For me, I'm going to go with the upset and say it's more improbably that 'Zo is still alive. Magic might have been one of the first to live through HIV but its become more common since. They found the right cocktail of pills and he was on his way. Zo needed a kidney transplant to live. There are very few people on earth I'd give my kidney to. Alonzo, no offense, isn't on that list. Not only did he need to find someone willing to give him AN ORGAN, he needed to find someone willing to give him an organ that was a genetic match. Those odds are nowhere near in your favor.
Of course there could be a really simple explanation as to how both of these men are still alive: Pat Riley is some kind of Silver Fox Grand Wizard.
A modern day witch doctor or disease whisperer for African American basketball players. Lebron, Wade, Bosh, they didn't choose South Beach because of the weather and the abundance of ass on the beaches, they chose it because they'll never die of a communicable or genetic disease as long as Pat Riley is at the helm...Hell, right now the Heat have Ronny Turiaf and Eddie Curry on their roster, two guys, playing in the NBA, with congenital heart issues. That's the Pat Riley effect.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Mayweather Finds Jail Isn't All That Fun, Asks Judge if He can Go Home Now
TMZ - Floyd Mayweather, Jr. says he's begun to shrivel up into a puny regular person during his first 12 days in the big house ... and he's worried he won't be able to bounce back in time to save his boxing career...Floyd is currently locked up for beating his baby mama in front of their kids last year...In the docs, Mayweather says he spends 23 hours-per-day locked in isolation for his own safety. But he claims the imprisonment is taking a "cruel and inhuman" toll on his rippling physique because he can't train at a world class level while serving his time...Floyd's doctor also told the court he's concerned about Floyd's diet ... because he used to eat 3,000 to 4,000 calories per day ... and now, the doc believes FM is eating less than 800.
You know what? I respect the hell out of this. I was all ready to rip him for asking to get out early, but after reading that, I just can't. I couldn't stop laughing the whole way through. It's the most blunt, stripped down, and honest plea for release from jail that I think I've ever heard.
He's not apologizing for what he's done, saying he's learned his lesson, claiming he's reformed, or that he doesn't derserve this, or any of the usual stuff. No, Money Mayweather cuts right to the point.
He might as well have wrote a letter to the judge that said "Dear Judge, jail kinda sucks and is limiting my freedom, can I go home now?" Just as plain as day, like a kid asking to get off the timeout chair in the corner because he's losing valuable Tonka Truck playing time. You've got to respect that kind of honesty...Free Mayweather!
PS: I don't think Floyd's doing jail right, to be honest. Complaining about the lack of world class training flies in the face of everything I've ever learned about jail. Up until now I would have assumed if athletes wanted to get in shape, they'd do a 6-12 month stretch in Pelican Bay, I've never seen an inmate portrayed as anything but jacked, honestly thought Mayweather would have came out of the clink as a legit heavyweight, I guess that's not the case?
If You're Not Watching Worlds Worst Tenants, I Don't Want to Know You
| SPIKE | ||||
| Trapped In The House | ||||
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AND THEY FOUND THIS:
Just a giant man who fell in the tub and got stuck for THREE DAYS, and has been yelling for help while defecating all over himself ever since. Shit was wild, but my favorite part, by far (which sadly the teaser above cuts out), is when the dude walks into the bathroom and goes "Whoa, Whats Up?"
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