Shut Up About the Wikileaks

Do you know who that creepy, pervy looking guy above is? No, its not Barney from How I Met Your Mother, its Julian Assange, founder of Wiki-leaks (also he really may be creepy and pervy).

This guy has literally turned the worlds government, corporations, and media outlets into a bunch of gossiping school girls all trashing on how slutty the others are.  Do you know how frigen hard this guy has made my life?  Every time I've gone browsing for suitable Alt-Tabs this week I've been bombarded with more "he said, she said" stories about various diplomats and national leaders.  Who gives a shit? Didn't these people go through high school? Everyone talks shit, its a fact of life. Stop acting all surprised and righteous when you find out the same people you trash in private are doing the same thing about you.  Its not a big deal. 

You're supposed to have learned by now how to diffuse the awkward situations arising from your prior shit talking.  Two paths to take, play dumb and deny (a sign of weakness upon being called out but typically ends the discussion), or pick a mutual foe and spin the conversation to shared shit talking about them.  That's it, its that simple. 

So to CNN and Fox News, I'm begging you, please cover something new. Let this pass.  This wiki-leaks situation is fast becoming what Brett Favre is to ESPN, a producers wet dream, but a genital wart to viewers/readers. Get back to reporting on humorous white trash stories that I can fairly un-originally  regurgitate for a few laughs.

Indoor Soccer Wrap Up Week 4

Hope you all enjoyed the one week hiatus. Team B8 was on its bye week last week, and the rust showed last night.  A few lapses in concentration were all it took for mighty B8 to fall to its stiffest competition yet (thats what she said).  One positive to take away (and I had to think real hard to come up with one) is that we most definitely would have dominated any of our previous 3 opponents if we played as well as we did last night.  The other team last night played like a well oiled machine, they took advantage of our miscues and that was really all there was to it.  Well, almost.

B8 isn't going to receive a game ball for our performance last night.  Too traumatizing an ending.  Instead the game ball will go to the horrendous referee.  I'm not going to come out and say the word, but she was a "rhymes with bunt." A seriously blind "rhymes with bunt."  I'm not sure if the other team paid a little extra in ref's fees or if the Maestros threatening body language and stolen looks turned her against us but it sure seemed the fix was in from the start, and there is nothing more aggravating than realizing midway through a match that your side isn't going to get a call the rest of the way. 

 That's all for this week, I'll bottle up this fiery rage (more like light smoldering but we've got to rally the troops somehow) for next week when the CW will be making a cameo appearance as goal keeper.  Should be interesting.

Qatar to Host 2022 World Cup

If thats not the face of pure evil then I dont know what is.  Literally 30 seconds after his country was announced hosts of the 2022 World Cup this guy began devising his evil genius plan.  I have no idea what they have in store for the rest of the world, but judging by that sleaze ball grin its going to make the whole vuvuzella crisis of this past summer feel like a dream.

PS: What did this guy have on the FIFA organization? Look at that FIFA reps face.  Can't even believe he had to hand over the trophy to this slime ball.  I'm seriously afraid for 2022.

Enough with the Bell Ringing

Damnit, I tried real hard this year, but we're only one week past Thanksgiving and I'm already ready to rip that goddamn bell out of the next persons hand and shove it up their ass.  Before I get too far, understand that I know what you're doing is for a good cause, but that doesn't mean you're not annoying the shit out of me.  

Starts innocently enough, outside a mall, maybe a department store, couple days later they're posted up right in front of every supermarket, and then finally outside busy subway stations.  I literally can't leave the house with out $.50 in change in my pocket in fear feeling guilty the rest of my day if I don't have anything to drop in the bucket.  Except there are so many of these guys this year that I'm carrying around about $1.75 in nickels and dimes just to try and keep up. 

And is it just me or are the bell ringers getting a bit aggressive this year?  Hey asshole, you don't have to ring the bell louder as people approach, we're not frigen sensory deprived, I can hear you, and believe it or not I can see you in that bright red smock.  If I have some change you'll get it.  

And then there are the truly greedy SOB's of the bell ringing community.  The ones that hit you going in and coming out.  Just as unethical as it gets.  Everyone who's ever solicited outside a store knows you pick either the entering customers or the exiting customers to pitch too and that's it.  Fourth grade kids selling candy bars have a tighter game than these people.  If one person this season tries to hit me up on the way out after they already whacked me on the way in I'm going to demand a refund.  I'm all for charitable giving but the Salvation Army may want to screen their ringers for douches and pricks before they let any old person grab a bell and smock.  

PS: Does anyone know if they tally how much individuals collect at the end of the day?  That would be a fun bet, get a few people to go ringing, person who collects the most wins, the rest of the players owe him in sum the same amount that he collected for the day (and yes I realize that it may be a problem if I have to equate gambling into charitable giving to get me off the couch).  I'm pretty sure I'd set some kind of Salvation Army single day record, just turn on that boyish charm and dress slightly hobo-ish.  Pure gold.

Guy Almost Dies Falling Down Empty Bleachers

You'd think the band would cut and the Spirit Finger Gals would break to recoil in horror or even, and I know this may be crazy, go see if the guy needs help.  But no, they kept right on playing, and the dancers carried on.

Didn't matter to them that the stands were empty and, in all likelihood, even if people were there no one would care about them, probably too busy taking a piss break or waiting in line for beer.  Just a bunch of professionals, rocking their shit and carrying on as if this were the big time.  And I respect the hell out of them for that.  Can't be distracted by a guy plummeting to his likely death, how many people are maimed and injured during a normal sporting event? At least 10 right?  You've got to prepare like you've already made it. 

Just like the Alt-Tab.  Sure we only get like 75 hits a day on a good day, like 4 comments a week, and 1 reader e-mail in the history of reader e-mails.  But none of that shit is distracting me.  I'm just going to keep going about my business, cursing the bastards among you under my breath that lame me without having the courtesy to make fun of me in the comments section, and blog my ass of a couple hours a day while I'm not at my real job (as well as a couple hours while I'm at my real job).