Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Mario Menounos Making A Mockery of her Marriage (Alliteration, YAY!)



Maria must've worked out some kind of arrangement before hand, right? Like he's off banging groupies telling them he's married to Maria Menounos and just luring in night club skanks while she cuckolds him on national television, right?

Actually, has anyone seen him lately, I mean he hasn't jumped off a bridge watching his wife and her dry-hump makeout sessions weekly on ABC, has he?

Blowing Up Barrels in a Field Looks like the Most Fun Ever



I honestly don't have much to add to this, I just know that I wanted to be invited next time. Danger, awesomeness, competition, all rolled into one.

I didn't think anything would beat the time we took target practice at a local baseball field with our homemade potato gun, but I guess I'm wrong. I thought shooting at my friend who was out in the outfield arranging our targets (coincidentally also trash cans) and watching him scramble to avoid screeching spuds was the absolute pillar of stupid activities but this just showed me right up.

Apparently I Have a Huge Blind Spot for this Jetstream Thing


Did you guys know about this thing? Apparently it shaves serious time off flights coming back from the west coast? How the hell did I miss this? 

While casually discussing a friends flight plans at a bar on Friday I discovered this HUGE blind spot in my knowledge. I didn't know about the jetstream...I mean I guess subconsiously I did. I know that weather almost always comes from the west, but I never connected the fact that the wind blows west to east with shorter flight times. I was absoltuely dumbfounded, I argued til I was blue in the face that there was now way a flight from Boston to LA was an hour longer than a flight from LA to Boston. Hell, even after reading this wikipedia page, I still didn't quite buy it. I had to go to jetblue.com and actually book a round trip flight to LA to confirm for myself...Guys, turns out its true. That jet stream makes a huge difference.  Up until that very moment I had prided myself on not having a blind spot. I knew at least a trivial amount of  knowledge about everything on earth, or so I thought. Turns out I'd been living a lie.

I never knew it. It's not like I've never flown out west, I've been to Vegas a few times, I've just never noticed or calculated the difference in departure/arrival times (being intoxicated on the return flights may have played into this). 

Plus, I can't  even tell you how many weather or earth sciences classes I took in college, and I aced them all, took the easy way out for my science requirements...Apparently they just failed to cover this phenomenon entirely, in Weather 101 and Weather 102. I have half a mind to write to the Dean and request a refund, frankly.  When you're taking classes like that, at a bare minimum you expect not to look like an idiot at a bar with your friends over some trivial knowledge. Taking two intro to weather courses should all but assure you that you'll sweep any related category on Jeopardy. Well I would have thrown up an 0-fer when it came to the continental jet stream and it does not sit well with me.

I'm So Happy This Picture Exists

I know I promised Hillary I'd keep my eye on him, but this is getting ridiculous.
I don't care that every blog on earth is posting this picture today, I absolutely can't get enough of it. The juxtaposition is perfect...Also every time I look at it I start thinking to myself in my Bill Clinton voice, which is equally entertaining.

Sox Fans Pulse Check: What to Make of the Bobby V - Kevin Youkilis Feud


Come on guys, can't we all get on the same page, you're making me look ridiculous. See, here is the peril in how I operate this blog. I search for all my stories right before I go to bed each night, wake up, take one last frantic look around the internet, and then proceed to type my ass off for the next hour in order to get my day's posts ready. On occasion I end up look like an idiot by posting something like this, right as new information is about to emerge that I probably should have taken into account, something like, I don't know, this:


Jesus, Bobby, how about a little heads up for the struggling bloggers out there. Christ, not 30 mins after I wrote yesterday's post lauding you, I see you pull this shit. Ruined my day.

So what to make of it. I honestly don't know. Radio land in Boston was pretty torn yesterday. Some supporting Bobby V saying good for him for lighting a fire under his players asses, others (probably the slight majority) calling him a buffoon for not keeping this kinda stuff in the clubhouse. Here's the thing, this is what we knew we were getting with Bobby. His mouth is an open speaker hole pretty much at all times. So it's not shocking, but that doesn't necessarily make it right. 

Here's where I fall on Bobby V...I think it's great that he's an open book, I really do. It's entertaining, it's going to give me plenty of material, and it's just nice to have insider insight for once...after years of Francona and The Hooded One babbling on about nothing it's been kind of interesting to see a man who's so willing to tell you anything and everything, states secrets included. That said, I'd rather he do it for another team. 

As interesting as it is, if it effects the players off the field, then I have a hard time seeing how it's not detrimental to the team. Bobby V has to know better than this. That wasn't some throwaway comment, I don't think he's stupid enough to think that wouldn't get noticed, and I don't think he doesn't know Youk enough to know that would piss him off. Youk is one of the last guys who needs additional motivation, if anything Youk needs a calming influence, he's an absolute hothead. What Bobby's motivations behind saying this were, I don't know...I just find it hard to believe someone that's coached for so long and is so familiar with the media didn't know what he was doing or saying here...this wasn't verbal diahrrea, this was presumably calculated. 

Was it calculated in order to get the team to rally around their teammates the way Pedroia did? Maybe. Was it calculated to alienate Youk, maybe Bobby V just doens't like him? Maybe. Did he really just misjudge the reaction Youk would have to this? Probably. 

What'll be really interesting from here on out is to see how often this comes up again, or if Valentine learned his lesson. It's fine to be an open book, its fine to take the attention away from your team, but calling out specific players publicly isn't going to fly. You can't go to battle with 25 guys who hate your guts for gossiping publicly about their psyche and internal clubhouse stuff, you just can't. If he wants to make broad, carpet statements about the team, all for it. Calling out individual players through the media? Amateur hour. 

Here's A Hilarious .Gif of Dirk Nowitzki's Celebratory Double Barrel Finger Guns


This is why I absolutely love Dirk, and really, Eastern European ballers in general. Every time they try and look cool or try to swagger around the court they end up looking like a cross between the dorky foreign exchange kid from high school and the next Super Villain from the Die Hard series. I mean really watch this...at first Dirk looks like chucking up trey's for his 3-ball, but then he inexplicably holsters them like a gun, a gun with two barrels. Dirk just unintentionally created the first ever occurrence of the double barrel finger guns.