Friday, November 5, 2010

Alt-Tabs

Didn't think I'd let you go a whole week without a new addition of Alt-Tabs did you?



Man Wins Right to Give Cops Middle Finger - An Oregon man has settled a federal lawsuit over what he says was his First Amendment right to express himself by giving the finger to sheriff's deputies...In his lawsuit, Ekas said that in July 2007, he flipped off a Clackamas County deputy while driving, and the deputy gave him tickets for illegal lane change and improper display of license plates.  Ekas was acquitted on the citations. A month later, he gave the finger to another deputy, who detained him but wrote no tickets.

Finally someone stands up to these corrupt assholes.  Too many of us have been victimized (yours truly included) for flipping off these punks (I was coming back from a concert, some asshole was tail gating me on an otherwise empty highway, I turned on my cars interior light and flipped him off so he could see, he turned on his lights and rode me to the shoulder  and then sped off, needless to say I was furious).  Most of these guys, especially the young ones, are assholes like the ones pictured above, jerk offs from high school who had to find a profession that allowed them to continue to be jerk offs. 


Teachers Warned Not To "Friend" Students - In the hazy realm of cyberspace, one school district is drawing a sharp line: Virtual friendships between teachers and their students are a bad idea. Worried about the potential risks of online interactions, the school board in Norton last week urged teachers not to become friends with their students on Facebook and other social media sites and advised them to avoid friendships with former students as well.

Bad move in an economic recession. This is sure to cut employment for defense attorneys specializing in Teacher-Student affairs in half.  We need to focus on cultivating jobs, not destroying entire industries.  If anything "Friending" should be encouraged.
Facebook Knows When You'll Break Up - Worried about when you might get dumped? Facebook knows.
That's according to a graphic making the rounds online that uses Facebook status updates to chart what time of year people are splitting up...They found two big spikes on the calendar for breakups. The first was after Valentine's Day -- that holiday has a way of defining relationships, for better or worse -- and in the weeks leading up to spring break. Maybe spring fever makes people restless, or maybe college students just don't want to be tied down when they're partying in Cancun.

The chart looks real scientific and all, but Facebook could provide an even more accurate measure.  Just track how often someone's significant other is creeping on members of the opposite sex? Just seems obvious.

Mom In Spain Happy Her 10 Year Old Daughter Gave Birth - MADRID -- A Romanian Gypsy woman whose 10-year-old daughter just gave birth in Spain says she's delighted to have a new granddaughter and doesn't understand why the birth has shocked anyone -- let alone become an international sensation...But in comments published Wednesday, her mother told reporters the baby's father is a 13-year-old boy who is still in Romania and is no longer going out with her daughter.
What is everyone so upset about? They're Gypsies.  I just thought it was commonly accepted that gypsies were allowed to live by their own set of rules, sort of like the lost amazonian tribes in Brazil.  Love the maturity shown by the 13 year old though, ran off as soon as the girl was knocked up.  I have a feeling we'll be seeing these two on a paternity show on Maury real soon.

That's all for this week.  I'm going to enjoy the rest of my day off.  My mind feels lazy right now and the blogs are going to start suffering as a result.  As usual feel free to tell a friend or two this weekend.

I Knew These Miners Were Full of Shit

I try to avoid throwing up multiple videos in one day, but I stumbled upon this and what was I supposed to do, not post it?




Look as most of you know I've been keeping a very close eye on these Chilean Miners ever since their purported "rescue."  Well I'll be filing this little bit of evidence in the "Full of Shit File."  My alerts are already raised any time these guys are seen in public (I believe they staged this whole thing to reap the benefits of the fame and fortune that come with a world wide televised rescue from certain death) so you can imagine my interest when I found out one of them was on Letterman recently.  Everything seem to be go according to script until the 4 minute mark.  After conducting the entire interview with a translator this guy breaks character and sings Elvis in perfect English, body gyrations and everything.  If I didn't know any better I'd swear this guy wasn't even Chilean, probably grew up in Tennessee working as an Elvis impersonator for theme parks and old ladies at nursing homes.  

I'm now more sure than ever that these guys pulled one over on the world, I'm not even mad, its brilliant, but I still have one question. How did they get the Chilean government to go along with this? What is in it for them? They're still leading a poor underdeveloped country, as far as I know this isn't raising tourism (though I think one week trips to live in that hole, if the hole really exists, would be an awesome adventure tourism draw), and they're not on the receiving end of any more national aid than before.  What gives? I just want to know what they're getting out of this.  Would someone please tell me?

Has anyone ever told you that you sound just like Whitney Houston?



Don't worry too much about your voice, you're not going to have the looks to become a famous singer anyway. The best part for me was when you covered the camera up so we didn't have to see your jowels struggle to hit the notes. 

Best you can hope for is the National Anthem at a high school homecoming game, and even that would be partially due to pity because I'm assuming you take the special bus for that mean case of tourettes you're developing.  You'll will presumably have a long career on the church choir though, so you've got that to look forward to.