Flying Deer Gets Tangled in Powerlines in Montana

HELENA, Mont. (AP) - A Montana resident says an energy company has identified the cause of a brief power outage as "deer with wings. Lee Bridges says she was outside with her dogs around the time the power went out when a NorthWestern Energy truck pulled up, giving her a chance to ask the driver what caused the problem. She says he pointed up and said, "Apparently, we've got deer with wings." Bridges looked up and saw a dead fawn on a power line.

Great news for unemployed Reindeer, looks like Santa will be holding open auditions...terrible news for children of Montana, scarred for life.

The Beach Would Be So Much Cooler if All Patrolmen Drank and Gave Out Rides on their ATV

Miami Herald - A Miami Beach police officer who authorities say struck two people with his department ATV Sunday morning on the sands of South Beach was allegedly drinking on the job and joyriding with a woman at the time of the crash. Miami Beach Police Chief Carlos Noriega said the officer involved in the crash, which happened in the dark about 5:15 a.m. near Fourth Street, was supposed to be patrolling the beach Sunday because of a recent spate of thefts. 

No joke, I'd take this guy protecting my beach any day of the week. Work hard, play hard, that's my motto.  If this guy was still getting after it at 5:15 AM, giving out joyrides to Miami beach co-eds, well I can only imagine that he takes his profession equally as serious.

Plus the beach would be a much cooler place if everyone would just accept the fact that people like to crack a few beers while they're sweating their asses off in the hot sand. Like this past weekend, a bunch of us were out on the beach, being completely responsible, just casually having a few beers throughout the day. End of the day comes we take shifts getting picked up to go back to the house. A buddy and I were in the last shift so we're just hanging out in the completely empty parking lot finishing our beer (in coozies) and some Santa Claus looking guy, peering out in his binoculars at the Clam Diggers, without even looking away from his binoculars just says "that a beer son? beers aren't allowed on the beach."  Ok buddy. Nevermind that I'm not driving, not making any noise, just sitting on my cooler waiting for my ride. Never mind that you're literally standing right next to a trash can overflowing with beer cans from everyone that had been to the beach that day, or the fact that just because you're in charge of clam digging licenses doesn't mean you're in charge of public drinking.  Don't mind us grandpa if we just chug this beer before we go recycle the can. 

So yea, I'd 100% take a cocky young patrolman having a blast on his ATV clipping the occasional tourist at 5 AM (which begs the question of what they were doing). A couple of tourists or transients are a small price to pay for everyone's enjoyment and right to fun.

Pregnant Woman Only with her Boyfriend Because of his Nice Car Shoots Him to End the Relationship

DAYTONA BEACH --Police in Daytona Beach say a pregnant woman shot her boyfriend in an apartment full of children. Investigators said Patricia Jaggon, 27, got in a fight with Bobby Cord, 58, Saturday night at an apartment on Jean Street. They said when he went looking for his belongings to leave fight broke out between Cord and Jaggon. Jaggon then pulled out a gun from under a pillow in the master bedroom and shot him. Cord was hit in the right arm and chest. Jaggon called the police and when they arrived they asked where the suspect was, in which Jaggon said, "Here I am." Police said seven kids were inside the home at the time, ranging in age from one to 12 years old. One of the children inside during the incident told police that Jaggon said, "after she kills him [Cord], she was going to put lemons in a sock and hit herself with them." Additionally, in the police report, one of the children told police Jaggon messaged them saying she was going to kill Cord because she is tired of him and she is with him because "he drives a nice car." Jaggon is six months pregnant. She's now charged with attempted murder.

I was all about defending this woman after her stool pigeon of a kid ratted her ass out, then I re-read the story and saw that she called the cops on herself, why the hell would someone do that?  And does it even then count as ratting on someone if they voluntarily give themselves up and then you spill the beans about the plan afterwards? Like yea, it still makes you a bit of a snitch, but you didn't exactly give up anyone that wasn't already going down anyway. Interesting question anyway, if anyone happens to be reading this during their leisure time in prison help me out, take a poll and leave a comment.

By the way, I'd love to know what her definition of a "nice car" is.  I've noticed a growing trend lately of black males cruising in 7-10 year old BMW's and Mercedes'.  I've never understood that, but is that what black women are into? Out dated models of luxury cars, because that would explain it.  I've never understood why someone with the money to by a 3 generations old C-Class wouldn't just buy a new Corolla.

PS: A sock full of lemons has to be the most hoodrat thing I've heard in a while. You straight up can't even think of schemes like that unless you've spent a minimum of 5 years in the projects. 

Quite Possibly the Most Effective Anti-Drug, Anti-Savlia Video Ever

Umm, hey broad, your boyfriend may need some help out there. Quit twitching your limbs and get off your ass and help him.

In all seriousness though, how could anyone watch this and be like "yep that's what I'm doing tomorrow after last period." Did you see that guy? Couldn't even talk, went from about to zonk out and take a nap to a fucking lunatic jumping on couches who thought his best escape plan was out the upper half of the window...that's right, guy wasn't even coherent enough to just raise the lower window and roll out that part. Maniac.

Plus you have his girlfriend who's either going through Grand-mal seizures or is silently rapping to a Nelly song in her head, completely oblivious that her boyfriend just borderline committed suicide to get away from her ass. How awful of a person does she have to be?

I'm serious too, roll back the tape. He looks at her, tries to take a nap, does a double take and decides he has to get the hell out now, only way he knew how too.

PS: This video could be a day old or it could be 3 years old, I don't care, I saw it on LiveLeak today and am just assuming its new.

Asian Carp Attacking Boat Like No One's Business

Here's the thing, I've been fishing a few times, but I'm by no means an outdoorsmen, so in all seriousness, have I been doing it all wrong? Because my biggest pet peeve has always been the lack of fish I actually catch, few hours on the water and like 3 or 4 dingy fish so small I have to throw them back? Where is the fun in that? 

Meanwhile these like 8 year olds and their parents are just living the redneck dream boating down the river while fish literally offer themselves up to them for dinner. These guys probably got elected King of their redneck village when they got home, enough fish for everyone to eat for weeks. 

I was going to make fun of them and call that the high point of their year, but frankly, it would have been the high point of mine, who am I kidding.