British Kid Hopes Doorbell that Rings your Cellphone will Deter Burglars

WHYTELEAFE, England – A British schoolboy was set to earn up to £250,000 ($410,000) after inventing a doorbell that fools burglars into thinking somebody is home at an empty property, The Mail on Sunday reported. Laurence Rook, 13, from Whyteleafe in southern England, is the inventor of Smart Bell. The device dials a homeowner's mobile phone when pressed, allowing the homeowner to talk to whoever is at their front door. The invention uses an inbuilt SIM card and existing cell phone technology, and emits a small amount of white noise to give any unexpected guest the impression that they are speaking to someone inside the house on an intercom system. Laurence has sold 20,000 of the devices and is finalizing a deal with a telecommunications company for a further 25,000 units. He stands to earn up to £250,000 from the deal. "At first I designed the idea because my mum was fed up going to the Post Office to collect deliveries made when we were not at home," he said. "When I started to develop the Smart Bell, I realized it could also be a great burglar-deterrent. Most opportunist burglars ring the doorbell first to see if anyone is at home, but Smart Bell has the perfect way to counteract this. If you are out and a burglar comes up to your door and rings the doorbell, after ten seconds Smart Bell will ring through to your mobile phone and you will be able to answer," he added.

 Don't get me wrong here, it's a pretty neat idea, and I'm totally jealous that some nose picking teenager is about to get rich,  but I just don't see how this is a deterrent to criminals?  Are robbers in England just more proper and polite than burglars here in America?  Seems like its expecting a lot out of a smash and grab criminal.

You're assuming that A) They'll ring the bell to make sure no one is home, and B)They'll hang out on your porch for 10 seconds until you can answer the door with your cell phone.  Neither seems likely. 

Think about it, what good can come from ringing a bell as a burglar?  What if they answer the door, how do you explain wearing all black with a woman's panty hose over your head as a mask? Good luck trying to pretend your a mormon spreading the world of Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints.  

And as for B, even if they did ring the bell, wouldn't they barge right in after no one answered, I mean how long do you think a man in a robbers outfit can hang out on a porch without getting noticed by neighbors.  They're not hanging out on your porch hoping to leave a voicemail, they're already in the house by the  time you answer the phone.

Plus I feel like this is asking your average citizen to be a lot more tech savvy than they really are.  I have a hard enough time getting my mom to pick up her cell phone on a regular basis, nevermind if someone was calling from her front door, she'd probably just go on ignoring that.  And what about grandparents? Like they're going to have any clue what's going on here? I can't even imagine the hilarity that would ensue when some 80 year old on his morning walk around the mall gets a call from some burglar at his front door. The poor robber would probably go insane just trying to get the guy to understand the situation, repeating himself over and over again so the guy can hear him, explaining how the technology works. It's enough to make any burglar snap. 

Orlando Gas Stations Charging $5.00+ Call Themselves "Charitable Organizations"

Orlando Sentinel - When Terrence Smith climbed out of his rental car at the Suncoast Energys gas station near Orlando International Airport on Friday, he couldn't believe the $5.79-per-gallon price displayed on the pump. The Atlanta man remembered paying about $3.65 at other stations during the week he vacationed with his wife in Orlando. "In Atlanta, you might see 15 or 20 cents more near the airport, but $2 is ridiculous," he said. Smith looked across the street at Sun Gas, but neither station had its prices displayed on the large signs drivers typically see. If they had, Smith would have found the same price across the street, among the highest in the country. Even though it's been a year since Orlando passed a law to force the two notoriously high gas stations closest to the airport to post their prices, there's still no way for potential customers to know the cost of a gallon of gas without pulling up to the pump. The stations' owners have refused to erect gasoline price signs visible to drivers. Thousands of dollars in fines and the threat of liens and foreclosure haven't worked, and the dispute is nowhere near over....The owners have said they are simply providing car renters with an alternative to the high fuel prices charged by rental-car companies at the airport. "Compared to what the rental-car companies charge, we're practically a charitable organization," Benitez said.

Get a load of these frigen assholes, huh? I'm not normally one of those annoying people who feel the need to bitch and moan and persecute gas station owners for raking profits and making a living, it's their business they charge whatever the hell they feel like it and good for them for running a successful business.  Do high gas prices suck? Yea they suck, they suck big time.  Do I fault the owners? Not one bit.  

Even an asshole charging $2 more per gallon than your average station is fine by me.  If he can get away with it, then good for him.  If you can't afford it take a bus. If I get to the point where my SUV is too costly I'll sell it for a vagina Prius or start taking the bus (and stocking up on hand sanitizer, bus people are for the most part gross).

But these guys, these guys crossed the line.  Calling themselves a charitable business, come on bro.  Charge me what you want, grin knowing that you're ripping me off, but don't throw me a fucking line about how you're doing me a favor.  I'd rather you come out and bust my balls, bragging about the yachts and miniature giraffes you're going to buy with the profits you're making off me, over taking the cowardly route and down playing your greedy practices. 

Have a spine guys.

Basque Separatists Stole My Grill at the USA-Spain Soccer Match

CW's Ultimate Tailgate Fantasy...Note the TV

Yep, that's right a group of extreme terrorists from Spain (the Basque's) stole my grill this weekend.  You'd think an international act of terror along those lines would be met with calls for war...you'd think. But as of yet no one from the State Department has called me to authorize any predator drone strikes or ask if I wanted to press charges against Spain or some shit.

The day started out innocent enough, even lucky if you will.  Blatantly ran a stop sign right in front of a cop first thing in the morning and was given a warning due to the proximity of my birthday (more on that later this week).  A fortuitous sign, I thought at the time (couldn't have been more wrong, USA got slaughtered, the Bruins choked, and the aforementioned terrorist strike happened).

We got to the parking lot, set up shop, shared a few beers and jokes with the guys next to us, made fun of Guatemalans and Mexicans for a while (serious question, why do Mexicans and Guatemalans root for Spain? Aren't they like snobs to Latin America? They use the Vosotros form for christsakes, you don't even share a language, grow a pair of nuts and stop grovelling to your former oppressors).   Late in the day as we packed up our shit to head into the game I tucked my grill under my car as I've done dozens of times before.  Thought nothing of it, there's a code amongst tailgaters, and it's pretty simple: "Don't steal shit that people leave outside their car."  That's it, real easy to follow.  

Well apparently not when there are Spanish terrorist groups present in the parking lot.  Returned to my car late after the Bruins game only to find that someone had crawled under my car and stole the grill.  SACRELIG!  Mind you the thing is useless as I had the starter and propane hook up in the car, but that's aside the point.  Some lawless group of terrorist motherfuckers broke the code.  Is there no honor amongst tailgaters anymore?  

The tailgate community is a harmonious, borderline utopian society, this kind of shit is not supposed to happen.  Shit, right after making fun of some guys for presumably being Guatemalan we shared shots out of their camel pouches.  That's the kind of society the tailgate is supposed to be about. 

Or at least it was, until someone invited the Basque Separatists to come piss on our party and steal my goddamn grill. 

Bright side: Totally looking forward to shopping for a new rig.

How Close Are you with Your Take Out Delivery Guy?

Pretty sure this is my delivery guy's dream.

I've got this one delivery guy who swears we've become best bros.  Now understand this isn't like my neighborhood sub or pizza shop either, this is a full on restaurant that just happens to do delivery, so it's not like I'm ordering once a week.  I order like once every month or so, but legit each time I call, as soon as I give my street to him he's like "Oh hey buddy, what's up?"  Which is cool I guess, guy throws in free side salads and extra sauces and shit for free, so its definitely beneficial to me, but it's just a little bit creepy, and I'm not sure how normal it is.  I mean the guy has literally delivered to hundreds of houses since the last time I called but he still knows me enough to know my street address? 

Like the guy legit shows up with my food, he'll toss me a sly wink when I tip him and say something like "hey I hooked you up with a few extra wet naps guy."  Umm thanks bro? Am I supposed to dap you now? I guess I just don't know how to respond to that, aren't you supposed to give me wet naps?  I feel bad about griping about it, he's a nice enough dude, but I just can't help but get the feeling that he's looking for me to invite him in for a Call of Duty session on the 360 or something.  All I want to do is crush my bacon cheddar burger, and this guy's looking to exchange gamer tags and friend me on Facebook.

I'm just really torn on how to feel about this.  Grateful because my charm and rep as a good tipper gets me perks like wet naps and extra sides of honey mustard? Or creeped out that this guy might start stalking my life in a Single White Female kinda way, except a dude version centered around a take out delivery guy?

Annoying Birthday Kid Hates his New Bike Present

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Might as well change out that football t-shirt for something a bit more feminine dad.  I know you were really pushing for it it,  but if your kid cries at the sight of his first bicycle for a birthday present you can pretty much start looking into alternative lifestyles for kids. 

Little CW distinctly remembers getting his first bike and being unable to sleep the night before knowing that it was coming.  I didn't bitch and moan like this annoying kid either. I went right out there, learned how to ride, and then promptly started constructing jumps out of cinder blocks and plywood and falling on my ass.