I Wish America Had Awesome Animal Sports

Daily Mail - Chained to a post in an open field, this wild wolf can never have felt more vulnerable.He is used to being the hunter, never the prey.But now ajavascript:void(0)ll he can do is wait until the eagle swoops back in for the kill, its razor-sharp talons glistening in the sun. The helpless animal leaps from side to side, snapping at the giant bird in a vain bid to scare it off. But this eagle is a well-honed killing machine, trained to slay its prey by the nomadic eagle hunters of Kyrgyzstan.The two-day festival draws the regions best hunting dogs, eagle and falcon hunters from all over the nation.The program of the festival includes falconry, hunting with eagles, archery, and ambler races.But this is the final event of the festival and draws the biggest crowds.It is a gruesome battle to the death that almost invariably ends in the eagle's favour.Wolves are considered a manace in rural Kyrgyzstan, responsible for killing horses, sheep and cows.

This is one thing backasswards countries have on us, awesome animal sports.  I'm not talking about curel dog fighting where people throw their kid's household pets into a ring to fight for its life.  I'm talking about match ups pitting wild beasts against each other like above.  I'd pay upwards of $50 to be a spectator at this fight.  And before any animal activists get on me, remember, wolves are mangy and considered menaces, attacking horses, sheeps, cows, and the 3 little pigs.  Not to mention all the houses that they huffed and puffed over.

Thanks to overly sensitive liberals in America we can't even host simple Gold Fish races without getting shut down. Apparently the races present a hostile work environment for the fish.  Because sitting all day in a 1x1 bowl looking at distorted images of giants staring you back in the face and flicking your tank isn't horrifying on it's own right?  If anything I'd argue those races give the fish a sense of purpose, something to live for in life, a break from their mundane, and frankly depressing lives.  

Of course we may all be reading a bit too much into how much these tiny fish and their virtuall non-existant brains can process.

California Prison Job a Better Choice Than Harvard Degree?

Tough decision, Harvard, or California Prison Guard?

Fox News - Roughly 2,000 students have to decide by Sunday whether to accept a spot at Harvard. Here's some advice: Forget Harvard. If you want to earn big bucks and retire young, you're better off becoming a California prison guard. The job might not sound glamorous, but a brochure from the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitations boasts that it "has been called 'the greatest entry-level job in California' -- and for good reason. Our officers earn a great salary, and a retirement package you just can't find in private industry. We even pay you to attend our academy." That's right -- instead of paying more than $200,000 to attend Harvard, you could earn $3,050 a month at cadet academy. Training only takes four months, and upon graduating you can look forward to a job with great health, dental and vision benefits and a starting base salary between $45,288 and $65,364. By comparison, Harvard grads can expect to earn $49,897 fresh out of college and $124,759 after 20 years. As a California prison guard, you can make six figures in overtime and bonuses alone. While Harvard-educated lawyers and consultants often have to work long hours with little recompense besides Chinese take-out, prison guards receive time-and-a-half whenever they work more than 40 hours a week. One sergeant with a base salary of $81,683 collected $114,334 in overtime and $8,648 in bonuses last year, and he's not even the highest paid.Sure, Harvard grads working in the private sector get bonuses, too, but only if they're good at what they do. Prison guards receive a $1,560 "fitness" bonus just for getting an annual check-up. Most Harvard grads only get three weeks of vacation each year, even after working for 20 years -- and they're often too busy to take a long trip. Prison guards, on the other hand, get seven weeks of vacation, five of them paid. If they're too busy racking up overtime to use their vacation days, they can cash the days in when they retire. There's no cap on how many vacation days they can cash in! Eighty officers last year cashed in over $100,000 at retirement. The cherry on top is the defined-benefit pension. Unlike most Harvard grads working in the private sector, prison guards don't have to delay retirement if their 401(k)s take a hit. Prison guards can retire at the age of 55 and earn 85% of their final year's salary for the rest of their lives. They also continue to receive medical benefits.

Goddamnit. I  knew college was just a scam.  Here I am trying to put that piece of paper my school gave me to work, climbing my way up the coroprate ladder, hoping for that big pay day (though really I'm still stuck on like rung 3, or maybe rung 3.5 if you're feeling optomistic), and then there are these high school drop out prison guards rolling in 6 figures and all they had to do was put in a little OT mocking prisoners and laying down the law when they get rowdy....

Oh yea, and avoiding shankings, prison riots, and having piss/feces thrown at you from their cells in a drastically overcrowded prison system. Yea I think I'll keep my cube job.  Funny thing about me, I go out of my way not go get shivved by rusty homemade blades.  Just not something I'm interested in.

Mayor Bloomberg Proposes We Ship all Immigrants to Detroit

Fox News - Detroit needs residents. Immigrants want to live in America.  Michael Bloomberg says he's got a simple solution for both needs -- send all new immigrants to Detroit.  In a novel approach to immigration reform, the New York City mayor said Sunday that if he could have his way, he'd use the immigrant workforce to jump-start the Motor City's economy by requiring Detroit residency.  "The population has left. You've got to do something about that," Bloomberg said on NBC's "Meet the Press." "And if I were the federal government, assuming you could wave a magic wand and pull everybody together, you pass a law letting immigrants come in as long as they agreed to go to Detroit and live there for five or 10 years. Start businesses, take jobs, whatever.  "You would populate Detroit overnight because half the world wants to come here," he said.

Though I respect what Bloomberg's trying to do here, I think his views on immigration are set a bit in the past.  America is no longer the land of Gold paved roads for immigrants.  People coming here today have to be seriously concerned about their financial well being should the liquor store/convenience store/phone card selling market, they choose to open offering native foods fail, our government just can't offer the same level of welfare it has in the past.  The immigrants today may need to do previously unheard of things, such as, get a real job instead of staying at home and multiplying at rapid paces.  

I do agree with his choice of location though, I'm fairly certain Eastern European immigrants coming from long bombed out home towns would feel comfy and right at home in Detroit (above).

Boston's MBTA Considering Banning Open Strollers on Subways and Buses.

BOSTON (FOX 25 / MyFoxBoston.com) - The MBTA is considering a move that would require all strollers to be folded before boarding. The move would be welcome for commuters on crowded buses and trains, but a potential nightmare for parents with small children. MBTA GM told The Boston Herald that strollers are the number 1 complaint he's received since taking the job. The potential pilot program would begin on MBTA buses and have the possibility of including trolleys and subway trains. Boston is one of the few major cities without a stroller policy.

Bullshit! Someone is lying about something here.  I don't even think open strollers is in my top 10 of complaints about the T.  There is no way that is the number one complaint received.   I mean, if you want to enact this rule, fine go ahead, I'm all for it, but don't insult me and act like there has been this huge outpouring of complaints about open strollers on the subway, that's a complete crock of shit (actually, unless we're talking about one of those Off Terrain Vehicle strollers, those things are just annoying).

 How about complaints about:

• The trains are never on time
• They reduce how many trains are running at 6:45 PM at Wellington, which is right in the middle of the rush hour commute...smart.
• Individuals, or sometimes, entire families that don't pay when boarding the bus
• Complaints from the MBTA about being broke but giving away free rides basically any time there is a rush of riders (parades, new years, sporting events (specifically at Fenway).
• The trains stop running before the bars close - this is just dumb. Boston's supposed to be a major city for god's sakes.
• Asian ladies with fresh produce and live poultry all over the place.
• Hoodrats
• Hoodrats playing music in their earphones loud enough that I can hear every lyric
• Wanksters
• Wanksters playing music in their earphones loud enough that I can hear every lyric
• Bums/Alky's/Junkies that seem to ride the train because they have nothing better to do (Actually I love these guys but they definitely make everyone else uncomfortable). 
• I guess baby strollers, if  you've addressed everything above here.

Obama Roasts Trump with the Protection of the Secret Service

This isn't easy for me to say, I wanted to give Obama credit for calling out Trump basically right to his face in front of thousands of people, mocking him ruthlessly, but I just can't.  

Was it a badass move? Absolutely.  But it was at the White House correspondents dinner, secret service everywhere.  What did Obama have to fear here?  If he wanted to show some balls he should have roasted Trump a month ago on Comedy Central, could have filled in for The Situation and the roast wouldn't have skipped a beat.   Holding back until you've got your squadron of goons to protect you is a chump move in my opinion.

But I do love how he stuck to his core black roots, urging a presidential inquiry into the cases of Biggie and Tupac, that's called knowing your core audience kids.

PS: I wrote this pre-Bin Laden news.  I can't even imagine how smug Obama must have felt inside knowing he was skewering Donald one night, and upstaging his number one rated show the next.   The guy cut off the second half of The Apprentice and then didn't make his statement for another hour.  Wouldn't surprise me in the least if he told everyone he'd be having a press conference at 10:30 just to snub the Donald, knowing full well he wouldn't come on until almost midnight.  

Safe to say I'm back on board Obama 12, sorry Donald.

Blogging on a Great Day for American's: Osama Bin Laden is Dead

Finally. That was my reaction last night, not an upset or pissed off finally, just finally.  Relief for victims of 911, relief for family members of fallen soldiers who've hunted for this outlaw for the better part of a decade, and relief for American's everywhere.  As Obama said, this isn't the end of terrorism or Al-Qaeda, but it is just about the biggest victory you can ask for, and a gigantic psychological relief for all American's.  

Now back to you regularly scheduled non-sensical blog. 2 Questions:

Do you think the Marine or Army solider who fired the kill shot has collected his reward yet?  Or was that just for civilians?

Secondly, how quickly will 24 karat gold plated, commemorative coins be issued? You know the ones, certified by the US mint but with no actual cash value, these coins are a must have for every collector.