Yes, you read that correctly, I willingly, and of my own accord, took time this weekend to travel south to get the Christmas in NYC experience, for the first time. A sort of pilgrimage for east coast Christians who celebrate and worship the commercialization of Christmas, so sort of like the Muslim's and their
Hajj to Mecca. And honestly, it was a worthwhile trip, some ups, some downs, but a good experience all in all. Without further ado, a few thoughts, observations, and lessons learned from the weekend:
- The trip centered around Mid-Town, and specifically Rockefeller Center and Times Square. Given the location, I had two people I really wanted to bump into, 1) the Naked Cowboy, and 2) Tina Fey. Sadly, I saw neither. In fact I didn't see anyone famous, at all. I get the feeling the feeling that famous people avoid the tourist trap that is Mid Town like the plague.
- But that wasn't the biggest disappointment. The biggest disappointment was being informed that TRL is no longer located in Times Square. I'm not even kidding when I say, I was like a kid in a candy-shop when we entered times square, all prepared to be waving and jumping outside of TRL, trying to catch Carson Daly's eye. Even brought a selection of 3 posters so I'd be ready for whoever the guest was (I assumed Britney, Nsync, and Eminem still take turns appearing on the show). Boy was I the goose. I stood outside cheering at what turned out to be some kind of studio for the Lion King show until I was informed that TRL, and Carson Daly, no longer work there. And just like that, 14 year old CW's dreams were shattered.
- The tree isn't as disappointing as I'd expected it to be. This isn't to say I haven't seen bigger, I have. But there was something something special about the whole scene. I think it was my affinity for Home Alone 2, to be honest. The whole time I was begging my girlfriend to help me play out the
end scene where Kevin is reunited with his mother, sadly we couldn't get the crowd to clear out so I could relive this magical moment (ps, watch that clip, its the only one I could find, and I'm pretty sure the guy bootlegging it is crying at the end, its touching and hilarious).
- I still haven't been to the Empire State building, I was literally two blocks away at one point, didn't make it. This is killing me inside. I'm obsessed with that building, if my readers were my pyschologist right now, you'd be telling me I'm avoiding it because I'm afraid it can't live up to my expectations, and you'd be right. That's right folks, I'm afraid a building won't live up to my expectations.
- Pretty sure our group was in the background shot of the opening scene of a porn. We were in some trendy bar/social club, they were filming something in the lounge, it started out with some platinum blonde girl with a painted on white dress chatting it up with some brunette chick, and then all of a sudden a guy appeared and schmoozed with the two of them, before leaving to go up to the hotel. The camera men gave some vague answer about it being some Bravo reality show, but it wasn't Millionaire matchmaker and it wasn't any of the real housewives, so I think he was just covering.
- NYC Cabs SUCK. Worse than Boston. That's a fact. First of all, there's 1000's of them, and getting one to stop is impossible. Secondly, when they do stop, they play every trick in the book. One guy told me he didn't know how to get to Brooklyn, he legit said "do you take the Brooklyn Bridge?" I legit said, "are you fucking kidding me?" and got out. Another asked if I had cash because his meter wasn't working, I told him I see it and its working, he said it doesn't matter, I told him to take a hike. The third, and final one, made it from Mid Town to just over the Brooklyn bridge in about 7 minutes. I was in the front seat fearing for my life the entire ride.
- The MTA < the MBTA, and that's a fact. They don't have electric boards or loudspeaker announcements at the stations! Its unbelievable. We stood from 1 AM- 2AM waiting for a train to arrive, that was never coming because it wasn't running that night, only the only way you'd know that is if you looked at the 11x11 piece of paper all the way back up stairs, announcing the stoppage in service that night. And it's not like we were the only ones, there was like 25 of us just waiting. Not that the sassy black woman in the booth helped us at all. I get that sitting in a bullet proof booth for the 12 AM- 7 AM shift may not have been your career ambition, but how about not letting 20 people all go down and wait for a FUCKING HOUR in the middle of the night, for a train that is not coming. I never thought I'd miss the MBTA.
- You probably shouldn't buy tickets to some comedy show from some guy who looks borderline homeless on the street. The tickets were real, but 95% of the show I was cringing instead of laughing. The first 3 guys just made jokes about how they're in their mid 30's and how Pot has ruined their lives. Great, thanks for depressing the fuck out of me. The drink we ordered was made with straight rubbing alcohol, and at one point some French guy got on stage, and his whole act was, I shit you not, saying things like "I'll Tea Bag You So HARD (in french accent)." Traumatizing.
- A 38oz. steak is exactly as big as it sounds. It's also delicious.
-Anyone that works in an office at Times Square that manages to get anything, is a borderline miracle worker. You'd absolutely find me staring out the window and watching commercials on those brilliant HDTV's all day.
- Getting out of NYC is still the worst driving experience one can have. It took an hour to exit the city limits, an hour. There is a bridge for just about every exit plan, except for those of us looking to get the hell out of New York and through Connecticut. Build another Bridge and reserve it for Massachusetts drivers only. Please.
