Friday, November 26, 2010

Alt-Tabs


Bush on Family, "We're no Political Dynasty" -In the hour-long interview, Bush and his wife, Barbara, discussed their lives and their relationship with another son -- former President George W. Bush. While the Bushes spoke with obvious pride of their family and accomplishments, they rejected talk of a Bush political dynasty, even when reminded that they are one of only two father-son presidential families in American history.


Well thanks for clearing that up, I didn't know people were debating this.  If the 2000's Patriots can't definitively be called a dynasty then I don't think the Bush's are even in the discussion.  No offense to the first Bush, but your son's Presidency comes down to the assasination of Saddam (which you couldn't handle on your own), two lingering wars, and whole scale invasion of US citizens privacy.  Yeah, we'll have to get back to you on that whole dynasty thing.


Under Takers Offering Coffins with Gay Flair - Two undertakers in the northwestern German city of Cologne are trying to tap into the gay market by selling coffins adorned with images of male nudes.
The prize piece in their display window is a coffin decorated with images of mostly naked, muscular young men in athletic poses inspired by Italian Renaissance paintings.


Imagine if someone came out to their family this way, posthumously?  That would be wild. Poor grieving family reading through their sons Last Will and Testament only to find out that he wished to be buried in a Versace styled Paisley coffin and he'd never told anyone he was into dudes? At the very least this needs to be an episode of Punk'd


Mark Whalberg says "The Happening Was Pretty Bad" - Again, thanks for clearing that up, but we knew that once M Night Sham-ICantTellAStoryWithoutAGiganticTwistThatDoesn'tReallyMakeSense-alan was named the director. 


Axl Rose Sues Guitar Hero - Guns N’ Roses lead singer Axl Rose is suing video game maker Activision Blizzard Inc. for $20 million over the company’s use of the song "Welcome to the Jungle" in the game "Guitar Hero III." In a lawsuit filed in Los Angeles on Tuesday, the singer rails against Activision executives for guaranteeing the song would not be used alongside anything to do with estranged former band mate Slash — and then putting the guitar player’s likeness in the game anyway.


Because you've done so well since leaving the band?  Sad thing is you know Axl is probably holding livingroom concerts every night using Guitar Hero with his neighbors, trying to convince them that he was a famous rockstar once upon a time.  No ones buying it.


FDA's Caffeine and Alcohol Ban Forces Local Brewer Off the Shelves - A Hingham brewer is fighting the abrupt ban on caffeinated malt beverages, saying her low-caffeine craft beer Moonshot 69 was unfairly lumped in with turbo-charged, high-booze drinks aimed at young partiers.Moonshot 69, brewed in Pennsylvania by the Hingham-based New Century, has been out since 2004, has 69 milligrams of caffeine and a 4 percent alcohol content, and comes in 12-ounce bottles.


Spare me the high and mighty act lady, you're just lucky Drew Carey isn't as litigious as Axl Rose and didn't sue you years ago for ripping off Buzz Beer.


South Korea on High Alert, But Ultimately Doing Nothing - South Korea vowed massive retaliation should North Korea attack again, and said Wednesday it would strengthen military forces in the disputed western waters near the island of Yeonpyeong and halt aid to the communist North. The North warned of more military strikes if the South encroaches on the maritime border by "even 0.001 millimeter."


Show some self respect South Korea, in the past 6 months the North has sunk one of your ships and fired on your land killing civilians.  Barrack better not give these panzy's an ounce of support until they at least throw a punch of something.  How defenseless are you? S. Korea is like the little redheaded kid on the playground telling the bullies to watch out if they pick on him one more time, except they all know he's just going to run to the principals office like a little bitch. I wish we weren't their allies.  I'll take a country like the North that has the gumption to take what they think is theirs any day of the week.

The Nanny To Run For Congress



Fox News - Drescher is even considering running for elected office herself.  “I think that this show might be a nice bridge towards that ultimate goal, but I think that I may find that this is a great forum to be able to share my passion and patriotism and desire to do things for the greater good,” she said. “(If I was to run) I would really make education a very big platform of mine because at the end of the day, all roads lead there, and if we think education is expensive, just stop and think what ignorance costs us.”

Everyone can relax, world peace is now within reach, America has a new secret weapon. I don't know how we didn't think of this before.  Forget Nuke's and other artillery, you want a real deterrent to global conflict?  You spring an overly opinionated woman with a thick Queens accent on the world. 

Israel and Palestine can't resolve that conflict? How about we send Fran Drescher over to mediate the problem.  The Jews and Arabs would have to forget about what the problem was and settle just so her voice doesn't cause an aneurysm. North Korea won't play nice without single party talks with the US, meet our new Korean ambassador.  

Domestically I can't think of a situation that would create a quicker bi-partisan resolution than the threat of a filibuster from the Nanny.  A day in session in Congress has to be boring enough, never mind having to listen to the schrill perturbing accent of a know-it-all day care worker blabbering on about womans health issues, and the best spot to get a pedicure in DC.

In short, I support Fran Drescher, and so should you.

This blog was paid for by The Nanny For Congress Committee 2012

Skinheaded Redneck Knocks Out Own Teeth


Gun Recoil Knocks Out Man's Tooth - Watch more Funny Videos


Question, did this guy some how find the one white Dentist in America? Or does he have to go to a Korean/Indian dentist like the rest of us?  That must kill the supremacist inside of him just a little bit, right? 

Have to Work on Black Friday?


That pretty much sums up what my office will look like today, just a barren wasteland, with a few suckers renegade workers willing to forge on and take care of business.  

But you know what? I secretly don't mind working Black Friday, and you shouldn't either.  It's the single slowest day of the year in the office (The day after Christmas would be in contention if you didn't have to worry about the unusually high amount of work place shootings that seem to take place Dec 26th. You really have to wonder just how awful some peoples gifts are that they come in the next day and raise Armageddon).  

Sure I'd rather be sleeping, or watching Alabama-Auburn, polishing off some left overs in my boxers on the couch, or watching news stories about all the bat-shit crazy people who lined up sometime before 5 am, all to save 20% store wide (its called Amazon.com, ever heard of it people?). But today is that special day, no bosses to speak of, most of  the clients have the day off because we're the only company in our industry cruel enough to make people work today, and the majority of the co-workers I attempt to pretend don't exist most days won't be around to bother me either.  

Should be a good day to catch up on work I've been putting off...yea right.  Just a day of surfing the internet, e-mail chains with my friends (if any of them are actually at their jobs), long lunch breaks (yes plural, I mentioned there are no bosses today, right?), and office wandering to pass the time.  Yes, that's not that much different than any other day for CW but it just feels better knowing that no one really has any expectations for me to do anything else today.  I'm fairly certain I could show up in a robe with no pants and not be disciplined as long as I've manned my station.

So here's to the rest of you who are in work reading this today (toasting you with coffee in my 32 oz. Legends of Nascar Cup, and no, I don't watch Nascar), for recognizing that an extra day off in the sunny, warm summer, beats a day off in miserable cold November, battling mental patients and stampeding mothers for Silly Bandz and Tickle Me Elmos.