Teacher Throws McDonalds Food Back Through Window With Video

LAKELAND, Florida -- The Polk County Sheriff's Office has arrested a Lakeland teacher for battery after she allegedly threw food at a McDonald's employee. According to investigators, 39-year-old Simone Paolercio was in the drive-thru of a McDonald's on South Florida Avenue Saturday morning when she got into a dispute with the window attendant over her order. They say Paolercio demanded a refund. When the manager refused, she allegedly threw the food through the window, striking the attendant in the face and chest.

The lesson as always...Do not fuck with people's McDonald's. Just don't do it. It never works out in a good way. People are irrationally crazy about their McD's. I can't explain it, science can't explain it, it's just the way it is.

And let me ask this power hungry, McDonald's drive thru manager a question...Was it worth it? Saving the $2.50 her food cost to get covered in soda and cheeseburgers, did you really think that was the right idea? Just fix her fucking order, because here's the thing, the person who took her order over the headset, I guarantee didn't speak English as their first language. Guaranteed. So they fucked it up, like they do roughly 20% of the time, because of the language barrier. Now, we all accept that this is going to happen from time to time. It's part of the deal with going to a fast food drive thru, the quality of food and service sucks, we know that. But we expect any mistakes that we point out to be corrected, and it's really not that difficult, just give me one of the 15 other pre-made burgers you've got just sitting there and I'll be on my way. Don't hassle me for the receipt, don't go over what Juan Pablo Sanchez thought I ordered, just take my word for it and replace my items, that's  all we're looking for.  That's your job as a white shirted employee at McDonald's, fix the mistakes of the non-white shirted employees. If you can't handle that, find another job, or accept that every once in a while, you're going to have a McFlury thrown in your face. 

Stop the Spin Doctors Hate, You Hipster-Douches.

I'd like to take some time to talk to you all today about a grave injustice that I've been noticing as a dangerous, and growing trend...Spin Doctors hate. 

What's the deal people? You can honestly listen to that song, or Little Miss Can't be Wrong, and tell me you didn't find it catchy, didn't bring you back to a simpler time? Bullshit. I don't know why it's become en-vogue to hate on the Spin Doctors, but it's time to cut that shit out, they have feelings too, ya know. Maybe save your misplaced musical hatred for a band that really deserves it, like Nickelback, and the people who support Nickelback.

What it really comes down to is just being a douche. I'm guessing it started with one music critic or Rolling Stones article and the rest of the sheep followed..."Oh, you like the Spin Doctors, I guess I'm just more artistic than you." Bullshit, you've just got a stick up your ass. 

I'm not saying they're musically gifted, I'm not saying I have their albums in my rotation, what I'm saying is that if one of the two aforementioned songs happens to come through my playlist, or get air time on the radio, I'm not turning my nose up and skipping the songs. They're good songs, they're catchy, they're fun. Stop being assholes and admit it. ADMIT IT ALREADY.  It was pop-rock, it had its time and place, and they made two endearing songs. Take it for what it was and move on people. Stop being such Hipster-Douches.

How Pimp Is My Bed Time Water Cup Situation?

"What Ya'll Know About Water Cups?"

Boom, that's how I roll folks. Out of regular cups because of a debilitating and compulsory habit of stacking them next to my bed instead of placing them in the dishwasher, but still need a nice cold glass of water before I go to bed, I roll with my oversized, Kowloon branded, Pimp Chalice. 

I'm thinking about getting one of those crazy straws for sipping though, it's hard to adjust to blindly grabbing a chalice at 4 AM when the muscle memory in your hand has been programmed for the last 20+ years to grab for a standard cup like a normal human being. Plus, I think the crazy straw will give me a certain je ne sais quoi. 

Yes, I'm still very much a child.

College Student Accused of Stealing Frozen Pizza, Coat, and Flag...Or as I Call it, Attending a Party

These two have  any balls, they'll wear this shirt to court

Police said two roommates got drunk Monday morning and tried to break into a College Street residence. Iowa City Police Officers responded to 327 E. College St. at 1:56 a.m. Monday for a report of two subjects trying to open a door. Two subjects matching the descriptions given to officers were located next door inside 325 E. College St. Police said the two men, were found to be in possession of a black coat, a Iowa Hawkeyes flag and a frozen pizza, police said.

Talk about getting a bad rap, if a black coat, a flag, and some frozen pizza are all that's missing, I'd say this was a pretty successful party. I mean how many people go home with the wrong coat, or with no coat at all after a normal college party? 5? 10? I'd say at least that many. I don't think I successfully went home with the same coat I walked in with from a single college party ever.  One semester I realized I'd been perpetually leaving my coats at this one kids apartment, and he took them all home for summer break, and I took them all back the next fall...that was the ebb and flow of college. I'm honestly shocked a coat was even reported stolen, you just steal one back. Head down to res-cafe and snag a similar coat of equal or lesser value.

And don't even get me started on the trumped up charge of stolen frozen pizza. I didn't even know you could arrest people for that. I don't think my roommates and I EVER hosted a party where all the frozen food in our freezer wasn't gone by the next morning. It got to the point where we were stocking up the freezer with just worst $.99 frozen pizza's and entree's you could buy because the theft was so prevalent. Joke was on them when they shit their brains out a few hours later. People treat frozen food at a kegger like party favors.

The worst time happened when a couple of drunks ate our frozen pizzas (the good ones this time, Digiorno), and then proceeded to leave a Thank You note on the card board box, which they stuffed into the oven, you know, so it'd be some place we'd be sure to find it...Like the next morning when I was preheating the oven and happened to notice a large chunk of card board chilling in there before it started a 5-alarm fire. 

So what I'm saying here is, any lawyer worth a damn will get these two 'tards off without even breaking a sweat, just go in there make a couple, boys will be boys, college students comments and walk out...

Happy Holidays from the Kardashians

Fox News - The Kardashians have released their annual holiday card and some critics are scratching their head at what they are dubbing a digitally-enhanced disaster. “The retouching is too much,” Andrew Irving, creative director of entertainment at Los Angeles-based creative agency.

Is Kris Jenner not the worst mom ever? Can't even get a single person in her whole family to look in one direction for a Christmas photo (with the exception of the kid, who probably just got lucky).  If these guys ever wanna shed the "wannabe" part of wannabe models, maybe some practice finding the camera and looking at it...smiles help too.

PS:  I think they got Khloe and Courtney's lower halves mixed up in the photo-shop. Also, Kim is at least 6'5 in this photo, which doesn't seem realistic.

Double PS: Something is seriously wrong with Lamar. For a while I wondered how a seemingly sane person like him could get wrapped up in this...but the moment you help lick the envelopes on a Christmas card like this, and don't have second thoughts, is the second I declare you legally insane.