Town In Norway Set to Open Mystery Box from 1912

Fox News - Residents of a town in central Norway are eager to learn what's inside a mysterious package sealed since 1912. The nearly seven-pound package was left behind by Sel's former mayor Johan Nygaard with the disclaimer that the parcel "be opened in 2012," the Local reports. The town plans to open the sealed and bound package on Friday. It has survived two world wars and reportedly was almost thrown out twice during clear-out operations through the decades. Mayor Nygaard kept the package himself until the 1920s, when he reportedly transferred it to council authorities for safe-keeping. It is now held at the Gudbrandsdal Museum. "It's going to be incredibly exciting," museum worker Kjell Voldheim told newspaper VG. "We have fantasized a lot about what it might contain."




I'll tell you this much, Brad Pitt's was probably a lot more exciting that what they're going to find in this old 1912 box.

You wanna know what's in the box, Kjell? A bunch of old junk, that's what. It's not like they had cool shit back in 1912. You're going to find some old yellow news paper clippings, couple photos, a velveteen rabbit stuffed with hay, shit like that. It's not like you're going to open it up and find an Xbox in there. You know what the big new thing was back in 1912? Light bulbs. You'll probably find some primative looking light bulb. Unless there's some valuable old piece of junk in there that you can turn around for a profit on the Antiques Road Show, you're probably all going to be disappointed.

It's all going to be stuff that could have just as easily been preserved in a glass case in Town Hall for all to see, probably would have helped the stuff age better. I can't imagine 100 years in a card board box taped shut is good for the aging process for anything. Plus little old Grandma's of Norway wouldn't have gone to their graves wondering what the hell was in the box.

Hey Brad - It's your wife's head.

Good for Lance Armstrong

ESPN - Armstrong, who retired last year, declined to enter USADA's arbitration process -- his last option -- because he said he was weary of fighting accusations that have dogged him for years. He consistently has pointed to the hundreds of drug tests that he has passed as proof of his innocence during his extraordinary run of Tour titles from 1999-2005. "There comes a point in every man's life when he has to say, 'Enough is enough.' For me, that time is now," Armstrong said in a statement sent to The Associated Press. He called the USADA investigation an "unconstitutional witch hunt." "I have been dealing with claims that I cheated and had an unfair advantage in winning my seven Tours since 1999," he said. "The toll this has taken on my family and my work for our foundation and on me leads me to where I am today -- finished with this nonsense." USADA reacted quickly and treated Armstrong's decision as an admission of guilt, hanging the label of drug cheat on an athlete who was a hero to thousands for overcoming life-threatening testicular cancer and for his foundation's support for cancer research...The International Cycling Union on Friday said it will wait for the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency to explain why Lance Armstrong should lose his unprecedented seven Tour de France titles before commenting on the case..."USADA cannot assert control of a professional international sport and attempt to strip my seven Tour de France titles," he said. "I know who won those seven Tours, my teammates know who won those seven Tours, and everyone I competed against knows who won those seven Tours."

You know what? Good for Lance Armstrong. He's absolutely right. Enough is enough. This isn't about public opinion anymore, that's already been decided. Most people are either suspicious of him or they aren't at this point, no ruling from some Draconian drug panel is going to change anyone's mind one way or the other at this point.

And as for that panel, the USADA, where is the smoking gun? Huh? It's been well over a decade of this shit. If he's been allegedly doping since 1996 where is the "in your face, no denying this, we've got you and it's all over," piece of evidence? Talk all you want about testimony from shady individuals with suspect motives, release vague statements about tests consistent with doping...fact is this is a guy who's probably been tested for performance enhancing drugs more than anyone on earth, and you never bagged him. He's either clean and you can't accept it, or he's that much smarter than you.

Either way, let it go. If you had iron clad evidence you would have come out with it, but you didn't. It's over.