Woman Crushed By Car as it gets Repossessed

CHINO HILLS (CBS/AP) — A Southern California woman has died after apparently trying to stop a tow truck driver from repossessing her vehicle. San Bernardino County sheriff’s spokeswoman Jodi Miller says 42-year-old Lisa Via was pronounced dead early Tuesday after being struck. “A tow truck killed her right in her driveway,” the victim’s sister, Sandy Pavlik, said. Driver Leo Song told detectives he backed up his truck to a 2002 Buick parked in the driveway of Via’s mobile home in Chino Hills. As Song lifted the car, Via came out and begged Song not to take her car. He told her he had to take it. He said he assumed Via had moved away when he began to pull the car, but the woman’s husband approached him and said his wife was trapped under the Buick. “She got in between the truck and the car and supposedly the repo guy claimed he never heard her and he ran her over. Twenty minutes later she was dead,” Pavlik said.

Here's a question, would you rather be a Repo man or a corporate desk donkey such as myself?
There are alot of jobs I'd take over the monotony of sitting in the same damn cube, doing the same damn work every day, but you know what? I don't think Repo man is one of them.

Yea you're essentially a licensed car theft, which on the surface is awesome, but everything that ends up coming with that would suck.  The constant bitching and moaning from deadbeats who bought a Lexus they couldn't afford, the sob stories from single mothers when their '94 mini-vans are repossessed, and the straight up feeling of "am I going to get killed tonight" any time you roll into the wrong neighborhood to repo some gangsta's Impala.  That shit would be too much for me. I'd be a wreck, up all night on a mixture of coffee and anxiety pills. 

My job may suck, but I've never had to worry about accidentally killing some broad in her driveway in the early pre-dawn hours.  My biggest fear is probably congestive heart failure, but that's quite some time down the road, after years of living this sedentary lifestyle.  Maybe radon poisining too? I don't know, they did a special on the news about that the other day, apparently it's the silent killer, kind of got me freaked out. 

So basically what I'm saying is today is a good day.  It's not often I ponder a job I wouldn't take over this current one, but today I found one.  Brings a smile to my face.

And my condolences to Lisa Via. I'm sorry that your story became a muse for my blog.

Psychiatrist Argues Teacher Arrested For Srip Video Games With Student Did So for Non-Sexual Reasons

WATERLOO, Iowa (AP) — A former Waterloo teacher accused of having a 17-year-old student shower in chocolate syrup and play strip video games is trying to have the case dismissed. Fifty-three-year-old Larry Twigg is charged with six misdemeanor counts of lascivious conduct with a minor. According to the Waterloo-Cedar Falls Courier, Twigg's attorney last month asked for the dismissal, saying a mental health evaluation showed Twigg didn't have the general intent to commit the crime. Attorney James Metcalf also said in court records that it's expected the psychiatrist hired by the state will offer an opinion that Twigg's acts weren't sexually motivated. Iowa law says the offense requires that the act is done to arouse or satisfy a sexual desire. Twigg was arrested in February 2010 and lost his job in March.


You know what? I was inclined to believe this guy until I heard about the strip video games.  I mean, I don't know about the rest of you but there really isn't anything sexual about chocolate syrup showers.  That's just good clean fun between a teacher and his underage co-ed student, nothing deviant there.


The strip video games changes things though.  Brings up a whole range of questions like, what system were they using? What game was it? Where they online or not?  These questions must be answered before we make a determination on this guys intent.

System- PS3/XBOX 360, not sexy.  Old school Nintendo, SNES, Sega or Attari? Sexy.  Let's be honest, there is nothing hotter than crushing a chic in old school Pong and then reaping the rewards that come with the win.

Game: Along the same lines, old school, sexy, newer RPG's? Dorky as fuck.  No one is getting laid while bragging about their Call of Duty or Halo ranks, but you tell some chic you hold your dorm's all time record for Duck Hunt? All bets are off.

Online or Not: Here is where the new games and systems can trounce the old systems in sex appeal.  Online playing allows that voyeuristic feel that is simply lacking from the old 32 bit cartridge systems. Don't get me wrong, watching a girl blow the dust out of an old NES game may be hott, but watching her trash talk a 12 year old after slaying him with the energy sword? That's every dorks dream girl.

Ryan Seacrest Just Became Interesting, Pulls off Asian Impression During American Idol

Didn't know you had a personality under all that professionalism, but now that I do? I like it.

So everyone will probably be all over Ryan Seacrest at some point today for his little snaffu on American Idol last night.  For those of you who haven't heard or seen yet (and I find it odd that this isn't spreading quicker), Seacrest pulled a half decent Asian accent out of his bag of tricks last night while on air. 

And it was hysterical.  He pulled it off quite well, just the right comedic inflections to make me laugh and not think he's going over board.  Of course my Fox 25 morning news team didn't think so.  The protectors of the politically correct were all over it this morning, trying to figure out why a normally very classy guy would stoop to that?

You know why? Because it was funny.  Relax people. Comedians do impressions all the time and we accept it and laugh, why is it such a big deal that the host of a karaoke show did the same?  Last I checked Ryan wasn't running for political office. He's a paid entertainer and he just entertained me.  And god knows Idol needs it this season.  Simon's snarky remarks and asshole demeanor were the only things keeping that show watchable.  You can't have three judges that are all afraid of being blunt and telling someone they suck, when they suck.

And to the overly sensitive fans of the show, who I'm sure were up in arms when this happened, give me a break.  You don't have any problem with Fox profiting week to week, year to year on the stories of misery and sadness that they drudge up from the contestants.  How many weeks in a row do I have to hear about girlfriends in car accidents, deaf babies, grandparents on their deathbeds, or disabled parents? I thought this was a singing contest for christsakes.  When did American Idol become Extreme Home Makeover where the audience is expected to shed a tear once an episode? A guy pulling out a funny impression to lighten the mood once in a while is much appreciated.

Please Ryan, don't go back into your calculated, professional self, keep showing us personality once in a while, it's sorely lacking from the rest of the show.

Facebook Changing the Way We Breakup, Some Can't Handle It

AOL - A Florida couple went from Facebook to central booking after a squabble over the popular social networking site. Thomas Gannon, 35, told Brooksville authorities that the couple's troubles began when his 31-year-old girlfriend, Tina Cash, "unfriended" him on Facebook, the St. Petersburg Times reports. According to the Hernando County Sheriff's Office, Gannon claims Cash not only nixed their online friendship -- she also changed her relationship status on her Facebook page.Gannon reportedly stated that when he asked Cash about the Internet break-up, she started throwing things at him, hitting him in the face with a framed flag that once belonged to his great-grandfather. Cash told officials that she wasn't the only person throwing things, stating that Gannon also hurled objects at her and punched her in the head, UPI reports. Both have been charged with misdemeanor domestic battery.

Simple case of a dude just not understanding  a 21st century breakup. She gave you all the clear signs bro, changed her status and unfriended you, that's as clear cut of a breakup as you can get in today's Facebook age.  That is today's equivalent to "breaking up in a public restaurant or place" move.  You do it out on Facebook so everyone sees it, it's public, and if you go around throwing things at your significant others head they'll know why you're doing it and you'll be arrested. No need to go over there and nag her about the status changes, if you have to ask you already know.

Your next move to "win" the breakup is equally important though.  Where guys used to just rally around their friend, take him to a strip club or two, things have changed a bit.  It's no longer enough to just hope a story floats back to your ex about how well you're doing. You need visual proof.  You need to arm your friends with a digital camera and start staging some pics. Toss that stripper an extra $20 so you can take a picture, get plastered and take a pic of yourself licking some drunk broads face at the bar, and the icing on the cake, photoshop a photo just right to make it look like you're jumping in the cab with some hot broad at the end of the night that you couldn't possibly hook-up with otherwise.

Boom, you've just won the Facebook breakup.  And you didn't go to jail for throwing coffee mugs at your ex's grill. Win-win situation.

NCAA Tournament Pre-preview

That’s right folks, The Maestro is back from his Sheenesque bender after picking the Super Bowl within 2 points, winning his season-long picks pool, then taking down an Accenture Match Play pool for good measure. After I woke up in the corner of the Champagne Room at Centerfolds this morning, I realized its almost time for March Madness. I fucking love March Madness, so I had to pop back over to The Alt Tab and check in. Now you’re probably thinking, “Hey Maestro, you don’t even know the matchups, how are you writing a pre-preview?” Well my goal here is to beat the analysts to the punch. Once the bracket is released, everyone has the same sexy upset picks and same teams that they like to go down early. Oh you like a 12 seed to beat a 5 seed? Congratulations, I watch Sportscenter too. You don’t see that weak 2 seed making it to Houston? Yeah, no one does. I’m going to give you these teams a week early so you can become more familiar with them as they play their conference tournaments and see how smart I am. Here we go:

Belmont – Belmont? Really? Yes, really. Now you probably haven’t heard shit about this team all season, but they’re going to end up getting a 13 seed, and as soon as Belmont’s name pops up on the CBS Selection Show you’ll hear Seth Davis say something to the effect of, “That’s a tough draw for St. John’s, and I actually like Belmont to pull the upset in Round 1”, after he hasn’t mentioned them once all year…he ALWAYS does something like that. And don’t be shocked when you see the team they’re matched up against only laying about 4 points when the lines come out. For example, as of this posting, Ken Pomeroy’s rankings have Belmont as the #20 team, and St. John’s as the 31st ranked team, while SI and ESPN have that projected as a 4/13 matchup. I feel like you should know these things.

Syracuse – I know this isn’t going to make Dr. Jack happy, but I don’t trust the ‘Cuse in the tourney. After starting off 18-0, the Orange have been largely mediocre, aside from two road wins in a row against Villanova and Georgetown. Now you can’t really poo-poo any road wins in the Big East (which is good this year, I don’t know if you’ve heard), but I’m going to do just that. Villanova isn’t as strong as people thought, and the Hoyas were playing their first game without Chris Wright. And there’s always that pesky FT shooting issue that the Orange’s three most frequently used players have. Depending on how the Big East Tournament goes, Syracuse probably lands a 3 or 4 seed, but I won’t have them in the Sweet 16 in many brackets and may have them going down in the 1st round in one or two.

George Mason – If you’re tired of people making the “Who will be this year’s George Mason? Could it be George Mason???” joke, then I’m sorry, you’re going to have to hear it again this year. The Patriots will end up with a seed in the 7-10 range and will be a tough out for whatever 1 or 2 seed they face in the 2nd round. They’ve won 15 straight in the CAA, which is arguably the best mid-major conference in the country. The likes of VCU and Old Dominion could be dangerous in the conference tourney, but George Mason should be safely in the field of 68 and a team to watch once it kicks off.

BYU – I know, I know, real original, huh? I’ve actually liked BYU all year, but all the “experts” who have been S-ing The Jimmer’s D were just waiting for an excuse to turn around and pick against his team in the tournament and now they have one. The Cougs just had starting forward Brandon Davies kicked off the team for violating the school’s “honor code”, whatever that means…only the Mormons! You think Coach Cal does that at Kentucky? Me neither. At any rate, BYU loses Davies’ solid 11 and 6 per game and are now nearly fully perimeter oriented. This should make it easier for a lockdown D to shut down their high powered offense and advance out of their region. Depending on how BYU does in their conference tourney (held on UNLV’s home court), they’ll end up with at worst a 2 seed, but I could see the right 3-10 seed (UNC? West Virginia? Not Syracuse?) that matches up with them in the 2nd round or Sweet 16 knocking them off. (By the way, this entry was a hell of a lot better when I had written it before the Davies story blew up and BYU got waxed at home by New Mexico, but I waited an extra day to post it. As CW always tells me, you snooze you lose, in the blogging world)

Check back in at The Alt Tab once the bracket is released so I can win you your pool…as long as you’re not in mine.

Overweight Flight Attendants Appeal Airline Weight Restrictions

(CNNGo) -- Thai Airways International is catching heat for imposing weight restrictions on its 6,000 flight attendants. Those who don't shape up face the risk of being kept out of the sky. According to a story in the Bangkok Post, flight attendants who don't meet the airline's body mass index and waistline controls, imposed last year, have been limited to service on domestic and same-day-return flights. If they don't comply after a year, they will be transferred to ground services. The 41 flight attendants affected -- 28 of them male -- recently complained to the Labour Protection and Welfare Department that the regulation violated their human rights and decreased their incomes. They were told the regulation is not illegal and falls within the authority of management, which was concerned about customer service.

You're goddamn right there better not be an fatties serving me my peanuts and 6.5 ounces of soda on my planes.  If the airlines have the balls to weigh my luggage at the terminal and set specific size guidelines for carry-on's due to fuel concerns they sure as shit better be measuring the waste lines of their stewards and stewardesses.  

Not to mention that a Land Monster of a flight attendant would single handedly defeat the sole benefit of the aisle seat.  I don't know about the rest of you but I'll take the aisle over the window every time, let that leg dangle out in the aisle a bit, hang the elbow over the armrest.  Any time you have a chance to occupy space on a plane that you didn't pay for you have a moral obligation to take advantage.  Heffer-Stewards would kind of ruin that.  I don't need male muffin tops nudging my elbow as the pass, or waking me up by mistakenly crushing my foot as they bomb down the aisle.

Weightlifting, Russian Style (Video)

They have Planet Fitness over in Russia too? Because I've seen guys doing that same routine at the one in Government Center in Boston because of the lack of weights in that dungeon of the gym.  Apparently for $9.99 a month, you get what you pay for, a musty basement, a few dumbbells, no barbells, no benches, couple of homeless guys (where else can you find lodging with showers for $10/month), oh and 3 tanning booths! That's why everyone signs up for the gym.

This guys friends must not be full blooded Ruskies though, bailing out like that at the end.  The guy is probably just trying to get in a few sets after work and the pussbags can't even chill on the bar for him for more than one rep, that's weak bros.