Police Looking for Bug-Eyed, Buck Toothed Florida Man...That's Pretty Much All of Them

Have you seen this man?

( Miami Township ) Police around the Tri-State are searching for a green 2001 Ford Taurus with KY license plates 114 DJM allegedly stolen from a woman at the Crestview Hills Mall on Tuesday.  74-year-old Ann Lee Ernst says she was finishing up shopping at about 2:45pm when a man shoved her into her car at gunpoint. He then drove her to the rear of Backscheider Transportation, walked Ernst into the woods, tied her up and gagged her and then fled with her car. Ernst eventually freed herself and went to the Cleves Waterworks where she was helped by an off duty Addyston Police officer. The suspect is described as a white male, with bug eyes and buck teeth. He was slender, about 165 pounds, 6'2". wearing an army jungle style hat with the brim all around, green cargo pants and white tennis shoes. He was armed with a knife and a black pistol. Police are circulating a sketch of the suspect who they have reason to believe may be in the West End or Over the Rhine.

So they're either looking for Ace Ventura, or your average, run of the mill, redneck-hick? Shouldn't be too hard to find in Florida...

...At first I honestly thought this was a hoax, some kind of gag news story trying to pull one over on people, but then I read the actual description of the suspect:

The suspect is described as a white male, with bug eyes and buck teeth. He was slender, about 165 pounds, 6'2". wearing an army jungle style hat with the brim all around, green cargo pants and white tennis shoes.

So really the sketch artist is dead on...I was wondering why they autographed the rendering but when you get an idea of just how detailed that picture is, well you begin to appreciate it as the work of art that it is.

I can't wait to see an actual photo of this creature.

PS: My bad, figured Miami was in Florida, apparently it's in Kentucky...which should make finding this character all the more difficult actually.

Players Kicked out of Gay Softball World Series because they weren't "Gay Enough"

(NewsCore) - SEATTLE -- A gay softball association in the US can limit the number of heterosexual players on its teams, a federal judge ruled Thursday. The decision to allow the North American Gay Amateur Athletic Association (NAGAAA) to enforce a rule of two "straight" players came in a lawsuit filed by three bisexual men who claim they were kicked out of the Gay Softball World Series because they "weren't gay enough," the Courthouse News Service reported.  The suit was sparked when three men playing for a San Francisco-based team in the Gay Softball World Series in Washington state in 2008 were challenged about their sexuality by a rival team. According to their complaint, the trio were summoned to a hearing room and quizzed about their sexual interests or attractions in front of around 25 people. The men said organizers told them, "This is the Gay World Series, not the Bisexual World Series."

The irony is not lost on me that the Gay World Series is played over a game of Softball instead of baseball.  Stereotyping at its best.

So many questions, yet so little to blog about, this article practically wrote the blog for me.  Like that last line, "This is the Gay World Series, not the Bisexual World Series," comeon bro, that was going to be my line, you stole it, now what am I supposed to go with here?

I do still wonder what the questions were that they asked the gay-poseurs, and why were so many people necessary for the interview, did some kind of unspeakable act take place? Involving a circle? I shudder the thought. 

Were the questions multiple choice? Was a scantron involved? Were they all penis vs. vagina and boobs related?  If anyone from the NAGAAA is reading this and isn't completely offended, please contact me as I'd like to interview you as a follow up to this article. Someone needs to do their job and get to the bottom of this.

Crossdressers in the Office Allowed to Break Workplace Dress Codes?

That's a man, man.

Fox News - A California bill working its way through the state legislature providing more protection for transgender individuals in the workplace could allow for cross-dressing employees to wear whatever they want to work, despite workplace dress codes. "If you talk to the average human resources manager and ask if there would be any disturbances if a man came dressed as a woman one week and then as a man the next, I think the (HR) rep would say 'yeah, this would be disruptive to the workplace,' " said Brad Daucus, a California attorney and president of the Pacific Justice Institute. “It will inherently cause customers to be uncomfortable and not want to do business.”  "This is not dealing with harassment, we already have laws in California that address harassment," said Daucus. "This is about employers having to deal with employees who dress in a way that employers know will cost them either in terms of customers, employer morale, or employee operational "efficiency."  Daucus is not limiting its effect to just the sales industry. He believes businesses, such as child day care centers and retail clothing stores, would be affected by cross-dressing employees who might have the upper hand when it comes to legal disputes with employers regarding their clothing choices.  "If you have a mother taking her son to a store for back-to-school shopping and the retail clerk is a man dressed like a woman, the mother is going to take her son and go to another store," said Daucus.

Oh, cool. So all a dude has to do this summer if he wants to be comfortable and cool in the office during the summer heat is ditch the slacks in favor of a sun dress, and this is copasetic with everyone? Noted. 

Have to say it would make me a bit jealous of the transgendered or crossdressing folk for the first time in my life. I mean my office's summer policy is jeans days Fridays...because that's exactly what everyone wants, jeans on a 90 degree day. Awesome.  How about shorts day Fridays and jeans day Fridays in the winter when there's about a foot of snow outside and I'm tracking salt stains all the way up my slacks from my ankle to my knee?  Too much sense? Ok, got it.

 
In all seriousness though, this is kinda on the employer here, I don't blame the tranny at all.  I mean you hired the guy/girl/it. You mean to tell me you didn't notice anything odd during the interview?  Maybe an overly developed adams apple, a handshake a bit too firm, or the voice deeper than Rupauls?  What I'm getting at here is if you didn't want a cross dresser out front lubing the deals and making sales for you, you probably just shouldn't  have hired one to begin with.

Bush and Cheney Join Hitler and bin Laden On Top 5 Worst People All Time List

Fox News - What do George W. Bush and Dick Cheney have in common with Adolf Hitler, Usama bin Laden and Charles Manson?...They've been named the "Top 5 worst people of all time" in a yearbook published by a middle school in Russellville, Ark. ...School administrators say they don't know how the former president and vice president ended up in the book, and the school district covered the list with a piece of black tape when parents spotted it after its printing. Still, some parents are outraged. "I'm furious as a parent and as a board member and as a taxpayer and as a resident of Russellville. It's wrong," school board member Chris Cloud, who has two kids in the school district, told Fox affiliate KLRT Fox 16 in Little Rock.  Superintendent Randall Williams called the list "an oversight." He expressed surprise when told the tape can be pulled off. "Well that's disappointing because the yearbook supplier told us this was a definite fix," he told Fox 16.

You're damn right the parents are outraged, its a travesty.  I mean yea Charles Manson was a horrible person, but top 5 all time? I don't know seems like a bit of a stretch.  I mean Stalin and Mussolini can't crack this list? Or if you want to get your antiquities on, how about Nero, I mean the guy is presumed to be the basis for Satan (do yourself a favor and pop over to wikipedia if you have no idea what I'm talking about).  But Charles Manson? Yea he's got his place in pop history in this country, but famous killers are a dime a dozen here.  If you throw Manson on the list you've got to consider including OJ too, right? 

All kidding aside, I had to do a double take when I read this was published in Arkansas, I always figured they were a hardcore conservative state, idolizing the Bush administration, who knew?  And give Bush some credit, he never seemed that evil, just mixed up kid who got in a bit over his head, could happen to anyone.  Cheney gets no break from me though, pretty sure he was the basis for the Penguin in the Batman series. Evil bastard.

PS: How about this frigen Randall Williams guy?  Your Superintendent of schools thought adhesive tape was a "definite fix."  That's more like it, that's the Arkansas I know.  Good school system you got down there.

Wake Up With Everything In America Sucks Video!

Figured I'd start things off nice and cheery for Friday...

I wanted to be with the Todd (the singer/songwriter from what I gather), I really did, all that shit does suck.  I bitch and moan a lot and this music video pretty much covered the gamut of general gripes I have. 

That said, any country where someone can make a mildly popular internet music video based on Sec. Treasury Paulson dressed in drag, solely based on bitching and moaning about how everything sucks and has gone to hell, well that's a great country.  Gives hope that maybe a mildly popular blog based solely on bitching and complaining can make it in this crazy world.

China and North Korea may lead the world in happiness, but I'll take a land where you're free to gripe, bitch, moan and complain as often and as vocally as you want to, any day of the week.  

Awesome use of charts