Carol Brady Was a Two-Timing Whore, With Genital Warts to Boot

'Brady Bunch' star admits affair in new memoir: MyFoxBOSTON.com

(FOX 25 / MyFoxBoston.com) - On television, Florence Henderson portrayed the perfect mom, Carol Brady. But now, the Brady Bunch star is spilling some scandalous details about her life off-screen. Henderson, who is now 77, says she once had a one night stand back in the 1960's with former New York City Mayor John Lindsay. It’s all revealed in Henderson’s new memoir. The actress says not only did she have the affair, but that the politician gave her a sexually transmitted disease.

Get a load of this bitch. Does this make Mr. Brady the biggest cuckold in the history of earth? Carol off bumping uglies with the Mayor of New York in her spare time, Mark at home taking care of not only his 3 kids, but her 3 Aryan union looking daughters as well, poor guy.  Carol and the Mayor probably laughing at what a sap he was poist-coitous. 

You know how many times Mr. Brady probably wanted to make a run at Alice and didn't out of respect for Carol? Like a million. Probably Marcia too, I mean she was only his step daughter, and frankly she was hot, I'm not sure if the age was legal or not, but I'm just saying he at least fantasized about her once or twice, that's all.

And what does he get for all that restraint? Apparently genital warts, or crabs or something like that. For shame Carol, for shame.

Woman Drowns at Public Pool in Fall River, Body Not Noticed for Two Days

Body found in public pool 2 days after victim drowned: MyFoxBOSTON.com

FALL RIVER (FOX25 / MyFoxBoston.com) - The body of a Fall River woman was discovered floating in a state run pool late Tuesday night, two days after she apparently drowned in that same pool. Police say lifeguards were on duty and people were swimming in the Veterans Memorial pool at Lafayette Park Sunday, Monday and Tuesday and it appears no one noticed the dead body. Police say Joseph was watching her 9-year-old neighbor at the pool on Sunday when she apparently had an accident sliding down a waterside. Family friends tell FOX25 the little boy told lifeguards that she did not come up from above water but no action was taken. The Department of Conservation and Recreation (DCR), who runs the pool, has since closed all 30 of their deepwater pools until further notice.

You know who's getting a bad rap here (besides the idiot lifeguards who deserve it), this 9 year old kid. Like every report I've watched this morning phrases it as "the 9 year old child supposedly told a lifeguard", or "the 9 year old allegedly..."  Allegedly, people?  What the hell does this 9 year old have to lie about? Put yourself in his shoes for a second.

You're 9, you just got finished peeing in the public pool, because that's what 9 year old's do. You get out of the pool ready to go ask your babysitter for a towel and a snack, look around, cant find her. You look in the pool (because that's the common sense thing to do) and see her floating down the bottom of the deep end, and run and tell the lifeguard. 

From there its out of this kids hands, he told the lifeguard, lifeguard apparently chose not to believe him , and frankly, I'm puzzled as to where the story goes from here. So many odd questions:

How did this 9 year old get home? Presumably his parents wondered where his babysitter was that night, no? How did it take two days for people to go looking for her? Why didn't this lifeguard just take a peek at the pool when the kid brought it to his attention? This isn't a log of poop that may or may not be a snickers bar, its a person, maybe someone should check it out? How murky is the water in this pool, do they ever use chlorine or shock? Because in my families pool a body floating in the deep end would be a visible, alarming sight.  What about the other kids who swam in the pool for two whole days before she was noticed? Did they think the dead body was a clever prop? 

I'm dying for more details on this one. Something is just not adding up.

Justin Timberlake to Buy Stake in Myspace...He Know's He's not Really ShawnParker, Right?

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Pop star Justin Timberlake is part of a group that said Wednesday it will buy MySpace from News Corp., a bid to add some cool to a social network that has been losing it for some time. Timberlake will become a part owner and play "a major role in developing the creative direction and strategy for the company moving forward," according to Specific Media, the company that he will partner with. The deal is for $35 million, mostly in Specific Media stock, according to a person familiar with the matter. The deal values MySpace at a fraction of what News Corp. paid for the site six years ago and paves the way for the layoff of about half of the 500 workers, the person said. As part of the exchange, News Corp. will receive a private equity stake in Specific Media. With Timberlake's help, the buyers hope to revitalize MySpace and transform it into a destination for original shows, as well as bolster its already available video content and music.

Do you get the feeling that JT is one of those "I'm not really a Doctor, but I played one on TV once," kinda guys? I mean he gets that just because he played an internet startup geek, doesn't actually qualify him as one in real life, right? Or maybe more importantly, his co-investors understand this I hope? Because throwing the faith of a failing social networking site into the hands of a guy who's only internet development experience was playing an egotistical maniac in a fictional Facebook Biopic seems like a bit of a stretch to me. 

Myspace doesn't need a cool name and face as the front man for the company, they need less convicted sex offenders, and a few tech geeks to clean up the structure of the site so that I'm not stuck sitting here waiting 5 minutes for your page to load because you've filled it with animated .gif's and some ungodly music that you think will make people believe you're an introspective, tortured soul. 

JT, please, just go back to music, hookup with Mila Kunis in public a few more times, tool around with Andy Samberg or something. These are things you're good at, these are things that should be on your resume. HTML coding is something I'm pretty sure will never be on your resume though.

Chris Hansen Busted in Undercover Sting for Affair with Completely Legal Younger Woman

Daily Mail - He's made his name with a controversial show that catches would-be internet sex perverts in televised stings.But now Chris Hansen has found himself on the receiving end of his own hidden camera tactics, after the married NBC anchor was secretly filmed on an illicit date with a blonde television reporter 20 years his junior. Last weekend he was recorded taking Miss Caddell on a romantic dinner at the exclusive Ritz-Carlton hotel in Manalapan, before spending the night at her Palm Beach apartment.Hansen, who has two young sons, was caught in an undercover sting operation arranged by the National Enquirer.

Sounds to me like Someone at the National Enquirer had a score to settle with Chris Hansen, maybe an editor or a producers cousin was busted by one of Chris' homemade cookies and underage sexpot scams? Because this is complete bullshit and America should be outraged.

Here Chris is, standing up for and protecting your children from sexual perverts, one homemade pitcher of lemonade at a time, and this is how he's repaid? By an undercover sting exposing his own private matters? And completely legal matters I might add.

The guy is just providing the playbook for any would be pervs his show should be out there catching had it not been shut down for legal reasons. Like he guys, if you want to have an affair with a younger woman, this is how you do it.  You wine and dine a chic 20 years younger than you in fancy hotels in tropical locations. You bang her in the hotel room, and you fly home after the weekend. You don't show up for apple pie and fresh sweet tea at the parents house of some 16 year old you just met on Myspace (by the way, what a loss that was for perverts, huh? Pedophelia rates should plummet with that recent news). 

Happy 1000th Post to The Alt-Tab

That's right, I'm congratulating myself, figured I'm the only one keeping count. But I wouldn't have kept going if you hadn't kept reading, anyone that actually knows me is aware that I lose interest in things pretty fast, the fact that I've made it this far a direct testament to my audience, whoever you people are. If anything has kept me going its my undying curiosity to see just how much people are willing to waste their time tooling around the internet, and I think this blog is a perfect testament to that.  Special thanks to the 4 or 5 of you who've followed the entire time, I thank you and pity you, because if you had anything better to be doing at all, you probably wouldn't be reading this.

A few stats:

1000 Posts. 

About 972 by CW, a workhorse in the truest sense. 

10 or so from The Maestro (@mazz33) Remember him? My gambling Guru, guy still gambles on the reg, its just to difficult to write about apparently, despite the evidence of thousands of websites dedicated to doing exactly that.

15 or so from the TV Doctor (@reallyrlreviews), always well thought out and well written pieces, clearly the only person with any real writing experience on this site. 

2 from Milosh, both hysterical, yet he's unwilling to contribute more, he's like the White Whale.

And 1 from that bastard Pennypacker (@HE_Pennypacker1), came out of the gates hot, tossing jokes, promising riches for everyone, ended up being the biggest dud in internet history.  In full disclosure I thought about deleting his one post so he wouldn't have contributed to the 1,000 count, but I realized that would be stooping to his level, and frankly, I'm better than that.

So thank you everyone for reading and for continuing to check in day to day.  If you like killing time with me please spread the word, tweet us, like us on Facebook, e-mail a few friends, or buy an overpriced Alt-Tab T-shirt.

Thanks,

CW

US Govt Spends $300 Million To Create Billion Dollars Worth of Dollar Coins that No One Wants

NPR - Politicians in Washington hardly let a few minutes go by without mentioning how broke the government is. So, it's a little surprising that they've created a stash of more than $1 billion that almost no one wants. Unused dollar coins have been quietly piling up in Federal Reserve vaults in breathtaking numbers, thanks to a government program that has required their production since 2007. And even though the neglected mountain of money recently grew past the $1 billion mark, the U.S. Mint will keep making more and more of the coins under a congressional mandate. The pile of idle coins, which so far cost $300 million to manufacture, could double by the time the program ends in 2016, the Federal Reserve told Congress last year. So, there are now about 1.2 billion dollar-coin "assets" chilling in Federal Reserve vaults, unloved and bearing no interest. By the time the presidential coin series finishes, and there are coins honoring all past presidents, there could be 2 billion... "Destroy them," he said. "People will not accept these coins. Nobody in America wants to use them. As long as they have a paper currency, they will use that." Of using coins to save money, Weatherford says that in an era of electronic financial transactions, "the argument is about 50 years too late. Coins have rapidly become less and less important in our society — like paper money itself is becoming less and less important."

So, the US government, in all their wisdom, thought that not only will people want to continue to carry around money, but we'd want the convenience of a pocket full of coins jangling around in our pockets.

Come on, this is America, we're better than this! Dollar coins are for weirdo Canadians.

And who carries cash anymore anyway? I have cash on me 1x per week, the night I'm going out to the bar, that's it. The rest of the week I have whatever was leftover from my bar tab.  And that's just paper bills, the only people coins are helping is the homeless, people would be constantly emptying their pockets and ashtrays with these useless and annoying dollar coins hanging around.

Seriously guys, what the hell are you thinking? Cut this shit out right now.  We've got credit cards so small they fit on key chains, the guy from Twitter inventing a new device to allow payments made and received from your cell phone, and the US Government still thinks people want to go back to carrying around gold scheckels like Scrooge McDuck? Are you insane?

I'm just glad we're at least not in the middle of a financial recession. I mean could you imagine the political fallout if the people found out the government was literally spending 100's of millions of dollars to press billions of dollars worth of gold coins that are just sitting in a vault unused, never to see the light of day? That would be a nightmare and a real slap in the face...oh wait a minute!

PYONGYANG, North Korea - North Korea's heir apparent, Kim Jong Eun, underwent plastic surgery six times to look more like his grandfather, the Communist state's "eternal president" Kim Il Sung, South Korea's Yonhap news agency reported Tuesday. The mysterious Kim Jong Eun, the youngest son of despot Kim Jong Il, underwent the operations between 2007 and 2010 before he was unveiled as the next-in-line to rule the nuclear-armed rogue nation, the report quoted an activist as saying.

In the words of Kramer, "You Got Butchered."

North Korea is a seriously dicked up country huh? I mean say what you want about the plastic surgery freaks in this country, at least their goal is to look good or emmulate a beautiful movie star.  This guys goal was to emmulate a 5'2 Charicature of a dictator?

Are stocky, plump dudes with round faces in hot demand in Korea? Asian girls got fetishes for the humpty-dumpty look or something?

No offense bro, but maybe you wanna try and not look like a bloated Asian who just sucked down a bottle of soy sauce and one too many scorpion bowls? Exactly how much water can your face retain? You look like me after a weekend bender, face plump with leftover alcohol and Gatorade waging battle in my cheeks and gullet.  Not a good look at all.

The Pope Sends Out His First Tweet, Sadly His Handle is not @ThePope

(NewsCore) - Pope Benedict XVI sent his first tweet Tuesday, typing it himself on an iPad. The Vatican had confirmed the pope's inaugural tweet, announcing the launch of news.va, a Vatican news and information site. He added, "Praised be our Lord Jesus Christ! With my prayers and blessings, Benedictus XVI."

Great, like there aren't enough Christian Zealots on the internet and twitter already, whats one more.

On the bright side I'm fully looking forward to seeing who the Pope follows.  What an honor that would be huh? Unless he does the Christian thing and just follows everyone that follows him.  I'd totally get it, but it would still be a little disappointing.

Being followed by the Pope should be an exclusive thing, like VIP status with the big guy upstairs.  Name dropping that in coversation should be a status symbol. Like right after making a Priest and a Pedophile joke, while everyone is uncomfortably deciding whether or not to laugh or shoot you dirty looks you just drop, "it's cool, the Pope follows me on twitter." Boom, joke lands, everyone laughs, no one is uncomfortable.

Plus there's no question where you're going when you croak either. If God even hesitated for a second you just pull up your twitter feed and show him the latest retweet @thepope gave you. You'll be hobknobbing with the first class people of heaven in no time.

PS: Totally not following The Pope until two things happen: 1) Get your own handle. None of this shared crap, you're the fricken Pope. 2) Follow someone, anyone. You have 38k followers. Show some love (I do think its hysterical that Charlie sheen had like 2 million followers over night, The Pope can't even crack 50k in his first 24 hours).

Wake Up With: Real World Twitter: Celebrity Tweets

"Do Ants Have Dicks?"

Anyone still think Twitter doesn't have long term potential?